


Puppy Eyes and Laser Tag

by ooBerry



Series: Attack on Silly People [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Chaos Ensues, Gang Bang, Hanji's POV, Multi, SO INTENSE, but hell take a shot, eren's pov, group laser tag, hahahahha pls dont make me tag things, hanji becomes a main character suddenly, intense chaos, jean wont take a camera to the head for armin, or as hanji calls it, probably a hella load of oc ness, secret crack ship!, the whole gang goes to play laser tag, this is gonna be fun to write, thun thun thun, which is entertaining to say at the least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-02-21 16:57:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 30,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2475599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ooBerry/pseuds/ooBerry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang goes out on a giant group date to play laser tag, par Jean's request, and things get crazy. Their natural instincts to kill titans make laser tag a breeze for them and it's a battle to the death to see which team will win.<br/>Love sparks, people get shot, pizza is thrown at glass, one team gets fumigated by Levi's cleaning supplies, Eren's charm is the key to winning and Hanji ends up with a certain pretty lady.<br/>Which team will come out victorius?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Great Big Gang Bang

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so the sequel has arrived!! Yaaaaay!!  
> Ive gotten a lot of help from my friend who's basically my consultant. Shes listened to the whole plot, given me ideas when i needed them and given me feedback on what already existed (so yes, the whole plot is written out), go check out her tumblr when you can! Shes awesome and helped bunches. her tumblr url is foreigndocuments.tumblr
> 
> This chapter is longer than my chapter lengths in the last fanfic. I wouldnt get used to it being this chunky though.  
> I'll try to update every day or every other day but school and life, so sorry if i'm ever late but I can promise this fic will be finished!  
> ahhhhh

One thing I would never understand- even more so than his asshole-ish ones- were his idiotic tendencies.

Okay, well more like his tendencies to not think about others.

But I guess that traced back to asshole-ish, meaning he was an even bigger asshole than originally thought conceivable. Wow Jean, congrats ya fucking douche!

He had just gotten a job at some new laser tag place in town and wanted go on a double date; him and Armin with me and Levi.

Jean didn’t take into account that it would mean I’d have to ask Levi out on a date! I mean yeah, we were technically together? Like we’d been on things LIKE dates and acted like a couple but never quite called it a ‘date’ or a ‘relationship’ or even ‘boyfriends’.

Mikasa and Armin told me to just talk about it with Levi (well they would have if I had told them about it), but how does one bring that up with him?

That’s right- you don’t. You just accept what you get.

Eveeeeeeeeeeentually I would have asked him about it, but since Jean had already paid for us using his fancy schmancy employee discount, I had no choice but to build up my courage and face Levi.

He would probably say yes. To the date part. I was more worried about the laser tag part.

You see, talking about our ‘’relationship’ would only be one step- laser tag would be the other 99 steps. It was just something he would really rather not do. No doubt he would be excellent at it…he just wouldn’t want to.

I was going to have to bring out the big guns.

I stripped down to my bare bottom and hopped into the shower really quick; not for long, just long enough to get soaked.

I dashed into my room, almost slipping on the bathroom tile, with only a towel sitting on my head and began the search for my laptop. It wasn’t on my bed. Not under my pillow. Not on my desk. It wasn’t in the shower. Godammit.

I pushed the towel down to my shoulders since I didn’t want my hair dry quite yet, and walked into the living room. I had probably left it on the couch or something.

Mikasa was in front of the couch doing yoga. She glanced up at me and raised an eyebrow, “What are you doing?”

 I spotted the prize on the kitchen table and crossed the room to retrieve it, “Gonna ask Levi out on a date.”

“You don’t need to seduce him for that. He’ll say yes.” Oh right I was naked. Neither of us honestly cared though. We’d been siblings since we were eight- we were close as fuck. Some may argue that just because we were siblings it didn’t mean we had to be close or that she wasn’t even my sibling for my/her whole life so what was the difference, but her being adopted was exactly what made us closer.

Even though in the movies the adopted child never gets along with the other child…point is we were close- close enough for her to throw condoms at me and not get punched for it- and naked bodies couldn’t change that.

“To go play laser tag,” I finished.

“Oh.” Yeah _‘oh’_.

I left her to her intense yoga session and headed back to my room.

I sat down at my desk and opened up skype. There was one sure-fire way for me to get what I wanted. And no, it wasn’t dirty. I was just naked and wet for added special effects.

When it finished loading I clicked on Levi’s profile and called him. His skype username was ‘Raviolli’. Why would Levi ever have such a username? Because Hanji hacked his account once and he never changed it; we all knew he secretly loved the nickname.

After a minute or so of ringing he finally answered. He was sitting at his own desk with a cup of tea in his hand and a curious look on his face. I noticed his lounging styled clothing and the papers around him which meant he had been working previously. I was special enough to stop homework for heheh.

“What is it brat?” Hello to you too, Mr. Grinch.

Despite his grumpy demeanor and grumpy voice and grumpy everything, I could tell he was happy to see me. He was either relieved to have a distraction from work or he was genuinely happy to see me. I imagined it was probably both, but hopefully more of wanting to see me.

I grinned and tugged the towel off my shoulders to toss it away somewhere, trying to bring attention to the fact I was indeed naked, “I’ve got a question for you.”

“Then why don’t you ask instead of announcing it?” he quipped. Man if I wasn’t so dopey about him he so would have been killed long ago. He was just to sassy for his own good. His eyes flickered downwards, “And put some clothes on- don’t tell me you’re naked.”

“Don’t tell me you’re complaining,” I winked.

He rolled his eyes, “You don’t even have the decency to dress yourself after showering when you see me. I guess that shows how much I matter to you?” There were little amused twinkles that danced around in his eyes that I could see, even through crappy camera quality. He seemed to live for teasing and insulting me. It was like he didn’t even need food, or photosynthesis or any of that energy shit, he just needed entertainment from messing with me and he was good to go. A sadistic man, that Raviolli…

He laughed at my silence (which didn’t qualify as silence in my opinion, I was angrily trying to think of a comeback) and continued, “Alright, what’s your question?”

“Will you go on a date with me?” He blinked blankly as I plowed on, “I’ll cover costs and planning and everything, you just have to be your usual charming self!”

He seemed a little surprised at how straightforward the question was, which yeah I understood because I seemed to be beating around the bush (I so wasn’t ok, I just needed time to think of comebacks worthy of his royal sass ass), but still managed to reply without missing a beat, “Yes…uh, what will we be doing?”

I bit my lip and looked away sheepishly then mumbled ‘laser tag’; very quietly.

“If you already know it’s a bad idea, then why are you even going to suggest it?” he mused. He had no way of hearing what I had said, but he could tell by my expression, which was purposeful on my part. I was preparing for my winning move.

I shrugged glumly and turned my gaze up to the camera. I pouted my lip and furrowed my eyebrows just a little bit. Just enough to look pleading. I would make my strike when the time was right. “Please Levi?”

He sighed and put his cup down on his desk, “Fine. What is it?”

“Laser tag,” I audibly admitted.

His eyebrows flew up and I could tell he was heavily reconsidering. His thoughts were obvious; ‘ _the germs! The people! The unnecessary effort! The noise! The totally not fun experience! Oh me-my, however could my dear Eren have ever even considered such a thing?_ ’

But it was time for my homerun.

I did the puppy dog eyes.

I pouted my lip like I was a little kid that had been denied candy. I made my eyes wide like I was a female shoujou anime protagonist. I tucked my chin a little and looked up at him like he was the senpai I looked up to. And I teared up like said senpai had rejected a laser tag date with me.

“Pleeeeeease? I’ve got it all covered and it’ll be a lot of fun!” All true…sort of! Jean had it covered cost wise and it would be a lot of fun if Levi would just accept the idea!

His gaze softened and he immediately gave in.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Ugh. Fucking fine. Just stop it with the face.”

I perked up and cheered, “Woo!” Yes. Hell yes. Mission successful. Man I should’ve taken a picture of his face when I pulled the puppy dog eyes- he looked so cute.

“Godammit Jaeger, wipe that grin off your face,” he ordered.

I smirked and rested my chin on my palm, “Or what?”

“Or I’ll wipe it off for you,” he growled.

I wiggled my eyebrows, “With what?”

“His cock!!”

…

Who the fuck was that.

Realizing the outburst came from his room, I glared at him as he turned towards his door to look at the guilty party. “What the hell are you doing shitty-glasses?” he bellowed.

Ah Hanji. Hanji Hanji Hanji.

Hanji’s face suddenly popped onto the screen and they flashed a dazzling smile at me (Hanji and Erwin by far had the best smiles), “‘Sup angry gay boy! I hear you’re taking Levi to play laser tag! How is that even a date though?”

Levi frowned and his anger was instantly replaced with confusion, “That’s a good question. Why laser tag Eren?”

I froze. Oh shit I had completely forgotten to mention the fact it was a double date. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

“Oh don’t tell me it’s a double date with horse-shit and Aryan coconut,” Hanji (correctly) predicted.

My eyes widened and Levi buried his face in his hands, “Ereeeeeeen! I don’t want to go on a double date, what were you thinking??”

Hanji and I simultaneously put on our puppy eyes and waited for him to look up again. After a while with not getting a reply he took a peek at us then promptly groaned and covered his face again. “Fuck both of you.”

“Oh a threesome? I’d definitely be interested.” Hanji- oh my God.

My face flushed red against my will and I dumbly stared at Levi who was shoving Hanji out of my view. I could hear them laughing just out of the camera’s shot as Levi turned and accusingly pointed a finger at me, “And you! Stop thinking about it!”

See, normally I’d have gotten flustered and upset, but I noticed a blush on his cheeks- he was involuntarily thinking about it too. Hah that pervert.

Hanji sat up and their head came into view again. They looked back and forth between us in shock, “You two are nasty!”

Levi shoved them again, but not particularly hard, “Shut up four eyes! It’s not our fault you planted some disgusting idea into our heads!”

Hanji snorted and moved to sit on Levi’s lap. I felt a teensy bit of jealousy but I knew Hanji’s actions were innocent and that they were just naturally a clingy person. There were several occasions in which Hanji would sit on me (or do something else clingy) only to have Levi pull them away and take their spot.

“Back on topic,” Levi began, “…wait, Hanji, why do you care if we go on a laser tag date?”

“Because I wanna go too! Oh! And if you don’t go then I can take Eren instead!” they beamed.

Levi glared at them, “Don’t worry, I’ll be taking him. If you want to go, you’ve got to get your own date.”

Hanji discreetly gave me a wink, as I made a mental note to thank them and always keep them on my side, then turned back to Levi, “So if I get a date I get to come, too?”

Levi’s eyes widened and he looked to me for support but, honestly, I wasn’t on his side. However dangerously eccentric Hanji was, they made anything and everything more interesting. Plus, I owed them a favor so.

After getting no help from me, he turned to Hanji and opened his mouth to protest but was interrupted with a squeal and a hug. “Woohoo! Just let me know the details soon and I’ll get a date!” Then they scurried out of the room before Levi could stop them.

He let out an exasperated sigh and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, “Ugh. BOTH of you using the puppy eyes on me? What the fuck Eren?? I thought you understood how I hated that?”

I giggled and watched him be incredibly annoyed with me. I guess the best part about messing with him was that he would never really get mad at me unless I did something seriously bad- which had yet to happen. He brought his head down to face me again and tilted his head to the side. His lips curled up into a small smile and his gaze became as soft as a cloud.

It was super sappy looking and super adorable.

I narrowed my eyes and sat up straight, “What?”

His smile turned into a smirk and he chuckled, “You’re making googoo eyes.”

I scoffed and crossed my arms, “You were too!!” I don’t care how I may have looked, Levi looked like he came right out of Twilight or some shit.

He shrugged and rolled his eyes but didn’t reply.

We stared at each other in silence for a moment. I liked watching him, as creepy as it sounded, he was intriguing and attractive; why wouldn’t I stare?

“Levi, are you my boyfriend?” I blurted out. I don’t even know where that came from, like I wasn’t even thinking about it beforehand but I asked anyway. Maybe Hanji still had wires in my brain and made me say it.

“Only if you want me to be,” he replied evenly.

I frowned and played with my thumbs in my lap. Man I was suddenly regretting the decision to be naked for that conversation; I was trying to awkwardly play with my thumbs and I had to stare down at my dick to do so. “Why would you think I wouldn’t want to?” I glanced up at him hesitantly, “You know I’m nuts…about you and wow that sounded really dumb but you get my point.”

“…same goes to you,” He said slowly. He looked a bit surprised at his response- as if he was figuring out what he was saying as he went.

Well he had me there. He’d told me he loved me. He certainly acted as if he loved me. I knew he loved me.

Why was I so nervous about the whole ordeal?

“I guess…we were both uselessly worried about rejection,” I decided.  Godamn Levi making me all self-conscious.

“Hey Eren?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at him again, “Hm?”

“Why don’t we talk about this another time? When we’re together in person,” he requested.

I nodded solemnly. He was a stickler about contact- which I fully understood- but it felt like rejection. I knew it wasn’t, but it just felt like it.

I just felt a little let down, y’know?

“But I would…like to call you my boyfriend, if you don’t mind.” Hm. It was very unusual for Levi to ask for something so timidly.

I gave him a small smile, “Only if I can do the same.”

He frowned, “What’s with the sad face, boyfriend?”

I don’t knoooow, okay? Don’t ask and just accept me being a stupid over thinking boooooooooooy gooooosh! “Well boyfriend-“

My screen dinged and Levi raised his eyebrows in response of the noise. It was a call from Armin. Hm. Do I talk to Levi about something that was bothering me or change the subject completely?

I clicked accept and a third window opened up, containing Jean’s and Armin’s faces.

“You naked Jaeger?” Godammit Jean could you not notice that immediately and focus on the topic at hand? Which you should probably explain to me because I didn’t know why you called. Well no- I didn’t want to hear it from him, I wanted to hear it from Armin. Someone who actually had intelligence. A douche, true, but a smart douche. My best friend smart douche.

“Shut up. What do you want?” I snapped. Luckily I kept my cheeks under control and didn’t blush when he pointed out my nakedness. Congrats me, you’re finally moving forward in life.

“Connie and Sasha want to join the double date,” Armin answered. “Do you mind if we make it a triple date?”

I stared at the coconut in confusion and Levi snorted, “Psh. It’d be a quadruple date; we already told Hanji they could come once they got a date.”

The horse-douche couple looked to Levi in shock, “What?”

Levi shrugged passively and drummed his fingers against his desk, “Well you didn’t exactly put any rules on this date so I saw no problem with it.” Liar. You totally wanted to tell Hanji no, they just ran away before you could stop them.

The blondie frowned as the muffin top glanced at his phone then matched Armin’s frown after seeing whatever he saw. I secretly hoped it was Hanji asking him about the details.

“Ah…hm…” Jean hummed. Armin peeked at his horse’s phone and his frown deepened in result.

Levi leaned forward and furrowed his eyebrows to complete his usual hermit impression, “What is it?”

“Ymir and Christa want to join us now.” Dammit Armin how did they even know? “Connie and Sasha must have told them”. Oh. Well then. I was actually okay with that. Ymir was a fellow Jean-hater so I’d definitely want her on my team. Actually…thinking team wise, it’d be better to have a big group! It wasn’t really a ‘datey’ kind of thing to begin with, so why not?

“That’s not a bad idea.” We should invite more couples to enhance the intense battling experience,” Hanji suggested.  Wait what.

Apparently Hanji had reentered while I was thinking and I didn’t notice. My mom used to complain about me being unobservant of my surroundings and I never listened to her, but I was beginning to wonder.

I cleared my throat and decided to pitch in, “I agree with Hanji. It’d be funner to get more people involved.”

Levi looked a little let down for a moment but he quickly returned to his stoic stare.

“Funner isn’t a word Eren.”

“Shut up blondie.”

“It’d be cheaper, too.”

“Shut up Jean- oh wait you were agreeing with me?”

“Ugh, just be quiet Jaeger.”

“Hey horse-face, why did you make this a date thing at first? It’s not exactly a date-like occasion.” See you could tell it was Levi speaking because he always referred to Jean as ‘horse-face’, Hanji said ‘horse-shit’ and I used a variety of similarly endearing terms.

Jean groaned and rubbed his temples, “I don’t know. I thought it’d be a fun thing since Eren is Armin’s best friend and it’s laser tag, which is generally regarded to as a fun thing, so I thought ‘why not?’. But I’m quickly learning it’s too complex for this group.”

“So let’s just make this a group date thing,” Hanji concluded proudly, “One great big gang bang.”

Jean coughed violently and covered his red face as Armin sat frozen with wide eyes. Levi and I simply smirked- it would seem we had become accustomed to Hanji’s inappropriate interjections.

“Regardless,” Levi brought the embarrassing moment to an end, “Hanji is right. We’ll just have a big group date.”

Jean grunted, “Fine. I’ll see if I can just rent the whole place out for the night in that case.”

Hanji perked and sat up, “Oh! When is this happening by the way?”

We all looked to Jean, as he would be the deciding hand. He shrugged, “Doesn’t really matter. I was thinking tomorrow evening maybe?”

“How long will it be?” Hanji pressed.

Jean furrowed his eyebrows and moved his gaze to the ceiling as he thought, “Weeeeell…hm. I guess it doesn’t matter either. Since I work there, we can stay as late as we want if we rent it. As long as we don’t go into the working hours of the next day.”

Hanji grinned and nodded, “Oh, so this can go on forever, huh?”

Levi quirked an eyebrow and turned to them, “You think you’re going to win or something? Cause you won’t.”

I watched them with great conflict. On one hand you don’t want to test Levi and on the other hand you don’t want to test Hanji either.

Levi was brutal and murderous. He was relentless in a physical fight.

Hanji was quick. They were a genius and fast on their feet. What they lacked in strength, they made up for with by thinking creatively.

Not quite the same as Armin though. Armin had no chance at winning a strict fist fight against Levi, whereas Hanji did.

It wasn’t to say that Levi wasn’t quick though. They were both extremely skilled and both thought outside of the box.

“Eren!”

My eyes flickered back up to the screen where I found four faces watching me expectantly.

“Wh-what?” I stuttered. Dammit. My Mom was totally right about me being unobservant I needed to look into that.

“What do you think about the teams?” Levi, I assumed, repeated.

I tried to pretend I knew what they were talking about, “Uhm…I think they’re fine?”

The boyfriend rolled his eyes and looked to the others, “We’ll just discuss teams tomorrow then.”

Armin laughed at me (douche wad) and Jean said ‘bye’ briefly before ending their side of the call.

The screen readjusted to make Levi and Hanji center screen. Hanji looked back and forth between us expectantly as we both looked at them equally expectantly.

They narrowed their eyes, “You two want me to leave, don’tcha?

We both nodded in response only to have Hanji grin, “Eheh, too bad- we gotta practice for our gang bang.”

Levi was not having any of their shit anymore. He grabbed their shirt’s collar and marched away with them. They left my view but judging by to door slam, the yelp and Levi’s returning alone- Hanji was forced out.

Levi sighed as he sat down again and took a sip of his tea. “It’s too early for this ruckus.”

I snorted, “Dude, it’s like 5pm.”

He closed his eyes and nodded, “Exactly.”

I shook my head and smiled as he put his cup down and opened his eyes to look at me.

“You’re still naked,” he observed.

I blinked and looked down, then after a moment looked up again. “Yes I am.”

He smirked and hummed while trailing his eyes across my body, without even trying to conceal it.

I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck, “Haah…I guess I can get dressed now actually.”

As I began to stand he raised his hand while keeping his eyes on my abdomen, “No no- there’s no need.”

I blushed and looked away awkwardly. He was messing with me and I knew it but I still couldn’t handle it.

“Leeeviiiiii,” I whined. He needed to stop ok. He hadn’t even really started teasing me yet and I was already upset.

He made that sappy face again and smiled, “Alright, alright. It’s just fun getting you all worked up.” I pouted and he waved his finger in the air as he went on, “You make those wide doe-y eyes like you’re a deer caught in headlights. You’re face gets red and you always look so frustrated but can never make a substantial comeback. Kind of like how you look right now.”

Hearing him be dumb again made me wonder why I was ever worried he would turn me down. It seemed very silly and oh my God I had been such a sap with him lately and was just then realizing exactly how sappy we had been and that was VERY. It was almost embarrassing like Jesus Christ I was still doing it oh God somebody kick me before I end up stupid throughout my whole entire life.

He exhaled loudly and looked up at the ceiling once more as he leaned his head on the back of his chair, “So silly…What am I going to do with you Eren?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT- if you noticed the mistake before i edited it pretend you didnt ok
> 
> 2/12/2014- Finally editing this thing. I figured if it's on hiatus I may as well edit it, cuz boy does this need it.


	2. We Had Sex Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their exit, Hanji must go on a journey to find her date. Though they get held up with a set back and many distractions, they finally wind up with an unexpected date. The date is intended just so the two of them can go to the laser tag event, but Erwin thinks it looks like something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahoymenoy  
> hanji's fun to write man  
> yeah  
> anyway thank you for reading and feedback is greatly appreciated!

After being manhandled and roughly forced out of my threesome- ahem, friend’s room- I sat on the floor and pouted. Those two were hella fun to mess with but awfully touchy! I didn’t get many opportunities to play with Eren anymore. It was like Raviolli knew I was up to no good so he always kept a hawk eye on Eren when I was in the proximities.

I stood up and brushed my jeans off. Levi was just an old grump that didn’t like to share. Definitely not fair.

I wiggled my nose in boredom and tried to focus on the task at hand. I had to get a date quickly to ensure my ability to go play and win laser tag. Besides the fact that it sounded like pure unadulterated FUN, it was also my unspoken duty to help out the little angry gay boy. It couldn’t hurt to make Levi jealous every once in a while, right?

I winced as I rubbed a sore spot on my head. Actually, yeah, yeah it did.

I bounced down the stairs with the clear goal in mind to find Erwin and not get distracted! He was the chosen sacrifice to accompany me in laser tag. If he couldn’t then I would ask Petra to be my ‘date’. Not a real date; just a ‘date’ so we can go play laser tag.

Man, Levi looked so smug earlier saying he was going to win- and we hadn’t even picked teams yet!

I would show him.

I knew, and he knew, that I had every much a chance at winning as he did. I was one of the few people that was on his level, but he liked to pretend that I wasn’t.

Which was fine.

It only made it that much more satisfying to beat him.

Perhaps going down to the shooting range was a task called for. Practicing would help at least a little bit.

I already had perfect aim though.

I walked to the kitchen to grab my keys, waved to Captain Amer- Erwin. Who was washing the dishes, and headed to the door.

“Hanji? Where are you going?” he called.

I peeped my head back into the kitchen, “I’m gonna go down to the shooting range to practice!”

He chuckled, “Oh, getting ready for tomorrow I see.”

I smiled and nodded. He was such a fucking mommy. Standing there, washing dishes, wearing an apron and humming to himself.

Such a mommy. It wasn’t a bad thing though! I was very appreciative of his wit and careful instincts. I’d doubtfully be dead without him; I was fairly careless in everything I did.

“Mhmm exactly,” I winked. “See ya in a bit!”

 As I walked towards the door a nagging feeling tugged at m and I froze. I’d learned long ago that if I had some intuition like feeling or felt I forgot something, I had to stop immediately and figure it out.

Sure, this led to people running into me, tripping, slipping in the shower, dropping things and a car accident, but usually it was something important!!

Suddenly it hit me and I ran into the kitchen. Of course! How had I overlooked it?!

“ERWIN,” I yelled right before running smack dab into his chest. Godammit, did he have to be so buff?? I almost broke my nose running into him _sheesh_!

He put his hands on my shoulders to steady me and furrowed his caterpillars. I mean eyebrows.

Who am I kidding, I totally meant caterpillars.

Ain’t no shame in identifying a friend’s body part as what it truly was. I was sure that was a sacred rule in a society somewhere.

“Hanji, what’s wrong?”

I rubbed my nose pitifully and looked up at him, “How did you know about the laser tag?”

He blinked, “I’m going with Petra, why?”

I groaned and fell to my knees (well I tried to. Erwin caught me and held me up). How had my plans already gone sour? I’d been a fool and allowed my chances to slip right through my fingers. I told myself not to get distracted in my journey and that was the very first thing I did! And look at where it got me.

“What? What??”

 “Erwiiiiiin I was gonna ask you to go with me, then if you couldn’t I was gonna go find Petraaaa. Now I can’t gooooo,” I wept.

He frowned, “I don’t see why we can’t just make it a threesome.”

Now that forced a genuine fit of laughter out of me. Just- the way he looked when he said it; his expression was priceless, he was so _serious_. And it didn’t help that it was the second threesome of the day.

I stood up straight and put a hand on my hip as I wiped a tear away with the other, “Oh man…I’m afraid I’m gonna have to turn you down. Between my threesome with Eren and Levi and the gang bang destined to take place tomorrow, I just won’t have the time or energy.”

He nodded understandingly and patted my head, “I see. Well I’m sure you can still get another friend to go with you. Nobody can pass up a laser tag battle.”

I pouted my lip and began counting off couples with my fingers, “You and Petra, Eren and Levi, Jean and Armin, Sasha and Connie then Ymir and Christa.” I frowned as I stared at the pairs represented with my hands. “That’s almost everybody in our group.”

“’Almost’ being the key word,” he consoled. “You didn’t list Mikasa did you? Ask her- I’m sure she’ll want to go since Eren and Armin will be there.”

“Mm…I dunno Erwin…she kinda hates me, remember?”

He shrugged, “Well it’s not a real date, right? Just explain to her that it’s just labelled a date so you can both go.” I nodded slowly and tried to formulate a way to ask Mikasa without her killing me as Erwin continued being unnecessarily logical, “Although, I don’t see why this has to be a date specific thing. That’s kind of ridiculous.”

I shook my head slowly, “Just go with the flow, okay? Just let it happen.”

The doorbell rang before he could further his argument and we both went to answer it. It was probably the neighbor returning Sawney and or Bean. Sawney and Bean were my cats, very well behaved cats, which unfortunately had come into the care of a very scatterbrained person- me.

Thankfully, Erwin knew this and often took care of them when I didn’t. See, without Captain America, I and the cats, would be dead. He held the responsibility of three other lives in his hands. I was fully confident he could take it though; mothers were just fabulous multi-taskers like that.

Fortunately (or unfortunately- I hadn’t seen the cats all day and was beginning to wonder about their whereabouts) it was not the neighbor harboring the precious cats. It was, however, someone just as stealthy as one!

Mikasa stood in our doorway awkwardly fiddling with her scarf, yet at the same time, with an aura that was both hesitant and determined.

She looked like she was out to do something dangerous and was nervous to do so. She must have reached the same conclusion Erwin and I had previously discussed.

“Yes,” I answered before she even opened her mouth.

She gave one curt nod and spoke without any questioning in her voice or eyes, “I’ll be here to pick you up at 4:30.”

Then she quietly took her leave.

I closed the door and began walking back to my room with a rather satisfied feeling. That was much easier than originally thought!

Erwin was still standing by the door and gawked at me, “Wait, what?”

I turned back to him before starting up the stairs, “What?”

He opened his mouth and gestured to the door, then closed his mouth and sighed. “You know what? I don’t care. All that matters is that you and Mikasa can both go now.”

My eyes widened and I leaned on the wall, “’Both going’? Oh, you mean laser tag? No, we were talking about something else.”

Sorry Erwin, gawking at me means I get to mess with you.

He tilted his head and frowned, “Oh? Then what was that?”

“We’re planning on murdering Headmaster Pixis and she just wanted to make sure I had attained certain drugs,” I explained calmly.

He stared at me with a mockingly bewildered expression which made me laugh again.

We had a nice friendship. Closer than most friends. See we had sex once. We were both incredibly drunk and lonely and then boom we were both incredibly naked and…yeah. We tried dating afterwards but ultimately decided we fit better as friends. We didn’t try to hide the fact we ever had sex, or forget about it, or sheesh, use it against each other or even do it again. It was just kind of a thing that happened and resulted in us getting closer! Actually…he was probably the person I trusted the most. Considering I identified as non-binary, I was a little self-conscious when it came to my body. True, I was hammered when we had sex, but even so he’d seen me without clothes before. When we went shopping for clothes together we’d go into the dressing room together. Neither of us really gave a fuck. Point is, the man was really dear to me and I loved when he indulged me by going along with my jokes. It was even better when Levi and Petra joined in.

I started upstairs to my room and vaguely wondered if I needed to prepare anything.

There was studying that whispered to me. Books that called to me. A stomach that hungrily complained to me. The internet that flashed random alerts at me. Cats that meowed at me.

Oh hey what do ya know, they were in my room all along.

I flopped onto my bed and decided that the unlisted option was the best option: sleep.


	3. Condom Girl Strikes Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read if you'd like to see the return of condom girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE-  
> I tried editing this.  
> i really did.  
> i've given up and am instead just reformatting it.  
> i don't have the patience to edit my own stuff somebody do it for me *throws a fit*  
> so i apologize for my abundance of typos  
> also, if you notice any typo that is a little too much or actually confuses you pls message me on tumblr

Laser tag day.

I was awoken by a harsh and obnoxious knocking at my door. Well, technically the front door.

I propped myself up on my elbows and tilted my head towards the direction of the door.

Something felt wrong about it…

“Eren!”

So it wasn’t a burglar or something.

“Eren fuck- are you okay?!”

There was a banging that didn’t sound like knocking it was- oh my God they were trying to break down the door. Oh God what was happening.

I grumbled and struggled to get up, but ended up falling on the floor tangled in the blankets.

Peace settled after my whining was over and I realized the banging had also silenced.

I lay still for a moment and waited.

I slowly reached for my phone, cautious not to make a sound lest the person hear and come back.

I hesitated when I opened the dial pad- call the cops or Mikasa?

Honestly Mikasa would get rid of them faster with less of a fuss. Wait a second. Where was she? Why wasn’t she all up in this person’s business yet?

I narrowed my eyes. Perhaps she was the reason the banging stopped. Or perhaps she got locked out and was super pissed at me.

There was a loud bang again- but this time it was not the bang of knocking or the bang of someone ramming themselves into the door…it was the sound of someone slamming the door open.

The panic swelling inside was unbelievable. Should I have started furiously typing Mikasa’s number or simply type 9-1-1?? 9-1-1 would be easier to call but longer to get help from whereas Mikasa would be the opposite.

I must have spent too long considering my options because my bedroom door suddenly flew open. I was facing the other way so I couldn’t see, but it was the unmistakable sound of someone opening my door. I could hope it was the bathroom door across the hall but nope. Deep down I knew it was my door.

I wanted to stand and charge at them. And I desperately tried. But I was seriously stuck in those blankets.

Silence. There was silence. Wasn’t there a mysterious person/burglar in my room?

Maybe they really did go into the bathroom across the hall.

I struggled and eventually triumphed in untangling myself, then turned onto my back to look up at the phantom.

It was Levi. He wore a completely blank expression but I could feel the murder radiating off of him.

We stared at each other in silence for a long time. I moved my hand slowly and poked his leg. He paid no mind to it and kept his eyes on mine.

“…I’m sensing some negative energy from-“

“What. The. Fuck, Eren.”

I winced and scooted away a little, “Uhm…sorry?” He glared and took a threatening step towards me. “I’m sorry!! I‘m sorry!! I don’t understand what’s going on!?”

His gaze softened and he kneeled down to start peeling me out of the blanket, “Mm…sorry. I just…what happened? Have you been stuck like this all day? Did you injure something?”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, “What? What are you talking about…?”

He pulled me up so we were both standing and began to fix my mop of hair. It was then that I noticed he looked perfect. Normally in the mornings he looked like a rotting zombie until at least lunch time…so basically he looked dead all morning. Anyways, his appearance told me it was the afternoon. I looked over my shoulder at the clock on my bedside table to confirm my suspicions.

“Holy shit!!” I yelled. “It’s fifteen ‘til 5!!!”

He frowned and tilted his head as he straightened my pajamas, “So you slept the whole day away…that’s what happened.”

My confusion mixed with concern to create the ultimate face reading ‘what the hell.’ “What happened?”

He sighed and shook his head, “Stupid brat…You slept through the whole day! We’re meeting with everyone in fifteen minutes.” He stared at me for a second then laughed and shook his head again, “Oh jeez Eren…come on, let’s get ready really quick and then we’ll head out.”

I stared at him for a moment before slowly nodding. He laughed again and walked into my closet, “Take your pjs off, I’ll get your outfit ready.”

Normally I’d make some suggestive comment but quite frankly I was too tired to fully comprehend English.

I stood there awkwardly in my boxers waiting for him and decided to brush my teeth. Couldn’t kiss Levi with morning breath. Or rather, afternoon breath.

I brushed my teeth in a daze until came in with some clothes slung over his arm. He stood patiently as I washed my face and presented my clothes when I was done.

He had chosen a plain black t-shirt and black shorts. Booty shorts to be precise. I vaguely wondered if they had been in my closet before Levi arrived but put them on without complaint anyway.

“We’ll get you something to eat when we get there; I saw the mommies packing food.”

In my mind I chuckled (as I was too tired to physically laugh). “Erwin and Petra are the mommy couple today.”

He smirked and leaned on the wall as he watched me get dressed, “They create the ultimate mom when combined.”

I smiled and finished getting ready then we headed out. I felt like I was forgetting something but I was pretty sure I wasn’t. I guess since I was ushered out right after waking up I just felt kind of out of it.

He turned on some of his classic frenchy music when we got in the car, and I didn’t mind. It was nice.

“Did I…did I lock the door?” I wondered.

“No, I did.” Well damn. He had a key to my apartment, so it made sense.

I turned to him and frowned, “Wait why were you banging on my door?” As I recalled it he sounded pretty panicked while he was yelling.

“Cause I was worried you brat,” he grumbled. “I called at 4:10 to ask if you were ready and you didn’t answer so I waited. When 4:30 rolled around I asked Mikasa for you and she said she had already left to pick up Hanji. I waited a little longer and,” he paused to sigh, “I panicked.

I furrowed my eyebrows, “I’m sorry…I don’t know why I didn’t wake up or couldn’t hear my phone ringing…”

I got my cell phone out but he put his hand out to stop me, “Don’t bother- we don’t want your phone going off while we’re playing.”

I nodded and put it back in my pocket then stared out the window as we drove.

“Oi- what were you doing to keep you up so late? Or did you genuinely sleep through the whole day?”

I glanced over at him and leaned my elbow on the window seal, “Oh…yeah after we skype Mikasa and I stayed up to watch movies until like nine in the morning.”

“Hmmm…I wonder how she managed to be up then,” he mused. Not in an accusatory way, more of a ‘how the fuck did she do that’ way.

“She’s basically God,” I answered.

He hummed in response and we fell back into silence. After a while I felt myself begin to fall asleep.

I sat up as though changing positions would keep me up, and groaned. “I really need to wake up or I’ll never be able to play at this rate.”

He gave no reply and parked the car. I pulled out my phone to call Armin but it was snatched from my hands. In one swift movement he jumped out of his seat over to mine, straddled my lap when he landed on me and pressed a foot to the lever on my seat causing it to fall back instantly.

I gasped as we fell which gave him the perfect opportunity to press his lips to mine and force his tongue into my mouth.

I yelped at the sudden chain of events and he smirked as his hands began to explore under my shirt.

Did he like practice doing that or something. I feel like in order to do all of that so gracefully in one second flat he had to have practiced.

I closed my eyes and just let it happen. If he had practiced, who was I to stop him?

He rolled his hips into mine and I whimpered in response. He kept a hand on the back of my head to push me closer to him and wouldn’t allow me to break away for breath.

The urgency to breath increased as he continued to ignore my release requests. I mean sure, I could have breathed out my nose, and I was trying, but it wasn’t substantial by itself.

There was a tapping noise at the window and Levi finally broke away. He pressed his forehead to mine and smirked, “Did that wake you up?”

Then he sat up as I laid there and rolled down the window. I was a little embarrassed to be panting when whoever was out there saw me, but quite honestly I couldn’t help it.

“If you two don’t want to come play, you can forfeit and head to the hotel across the street,” a certain interrupting fucker suggested. It seemed every time we were up to something, Hanji was there at the perfect time to interrupt.

There was a crinkling sound and something small landed on my crotch. I watched as a pale hand slowly retreated from the car and sat up to view the culprit.

Mikasa quietly stood next to Hanji and watched as I held up the condom.

I was getting really sick and tired of her shit. I clenched the condom in my fist and sighed. Gotta calm down, Jaeger. I didn’t want to kill off the last of my family.

I dearly hoped her and Hanji wouldn’t start dating; they would create the ultimate meddling couple. Wait.

I tilted my head then looked up to Levi who was still sitting on me and changed the subject altogether, “If they’re the meddlesome couple, and Petra and Erwin are the Mommy couple, then what are we? Do these qualify as ship names?”

Hanji casually leaned an arm on the car door, “Uh I think so. Mikasa, what do you think their ship name is?”

“The angry couple,” she replied without hesitation.

Hanji laughed loudly and patted my sister’s shoulder, “Perfect!”

Levi rolled his eyes then opened the door and removed himself from my lap. I was surprise he didn’t scowl or shove Hanji when he got out of the car. Instead he pulled my seat back to it’s originally position and leaned over me to grab his wallet and keys.

I was angry but glad that their intruding got rid of my boner before anyone (besides Levi) saw it.

I hopped out of the car and locked the door behind me then followed them as they headed towards the destination in front of us.

I watched with a raised eyebrow as Hanji glanced at Levi then, after deciding the coast was clear, whack his butt and laughed as he immediately mover away from them.

“Maybe we should call them the flustered couple?” Hanji laughed.

Mikasa nodded and continued to walk alongside them. Hanji looked over their shoulder at me, “I bet we’d get a better reaction from Eren…”

That won a sharp warning glare from Levi, but he didn’t have to worry about it.

I was already running away into Petra’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what movies do you think eren and mikasa would have stayed up late watching? i wonder...


	4. Neighing Procedures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of jean and armin explaining the rules and arena as well as Hanji and Levi being competitive  
> also- these are so not real laser tag rules and shit ok. dont take it seriously this is just in my fantasy world where they can play laser tag very intensely and when they die they go to the observation platform, otherwise known as heaven, and can watch the others play as they cheer for their friends ok  
> if you havent caught in to this yet, the chapters alternate between Hanji and Erens perspectives

After the angry/flustered couple’s arrival, we were finally ready to get started.

Sad thing was, we told everyone to arrive ten minutes late since we knew Eren would be late by default, yet he was still arrived well after us.

We were all gathered in a mob in the front room. Jean and Armin had already started getting people geared up and the rest stood around chatting.

They mainly chatted with whoever they came with.

As you can imagine, the secondhand participator of my conversation wasn’t very participaty (I’ll make up words if I wanna).

But at least she wasn’t ignoring me or anything! I quickly learned that she just didn’t say much.

I was perplexed by the whole situation. She stuck with me the whole time until Eren arrived.

I stood awkwardly with Raviolli, Eren and Mikasa as we waited for our equipment to come around.

It was so awkward. None of us said anything. Instead we all avoided each other’s eyes and looked wherever someone else wasn’t. I looked at the floor, Levi watched everyone else, Eren stared out the window and Mikasa fidgeted with her scarf.

“Hey four-eyes.”

We all turned to Levi and I narrowed my eyes at him, “What?”

“Are you sick or something? I expected you to be chattering about how you think you’re going to win.”

Leave it to Levi to break the silence by manipulating my competitiveness. “I didn’t see the need to do so, I assumed everyone was already aware I’m going to win,” I replied matching his tone.

He chuckled, “No, actually they just don’t want to break the news to you that you’re going to lose. To me.”

Someone tapped my arm before I could start an argument with Levi and I discovered Armin peering up at me. “Ready Hanji?”

I nodded and turned to face him as Jean went to help Mikasa, There was a weird chest plate we had to put on. I was pretty sure it was just the thingy that blinked when you got shot so everyone else playing would know.

It had weird leather (probably pleather- whelp no. I checked the tag and found it was genuine leather. I’ll be damned) straps that wrapped around the chest and torso as well as over my shoulders. The chest plate itself had an interesting emblem on it. They were sort of wings that overlapped on top of a blue and grey background.

When Armin finished adjusting the straps, he pressed a button on one of the shoulder pads then moved on to help Eren. I glanced around at everyone else and noticed we all had the same chest plate design, yet on a rack nearby I could clearly see more equipment with different designs. There seemed to be three options; one had red roses, another was the one we wore, and the last one had a green unicorn.

I snorted and called out to horse-shit, “Jean! Why are there multiple chest plate designs?”

He glanced over his shoulder, pausing from adjusting Levi’s gear for just a moment to identify me, then turned back as he answered, “They’re to separate teams. Normally when people come in we just split them up, but since we have yet to split into teams and there’s the possibility we’ll be divided by couples, I put us all in the Recon corps.”

Eren scrunched up his nose (in an adorable manor. Jeez that Levi just had to steal the cute dope away) as Armin moved away from him and the others started walking over to form a circle, “’Recon corps’? Like the military or something?”

Jean rolled his eyes and went to join Armin, “We take our laser tag very seriously here.”

Erwin spoke up as he joined the circle, “Alright, should we discuss rules or teams first?”

My hand shot into the air immediately, “Teams!!” I wanted to know who I was against (*coughcoughLevicoughcough*) and who I was fighting with ASAP.

He acknowledged my outburst with a nod, “Okay Hanji, what do you propose?”

I thought to myself for a moment. I really didn’t care about teams- as long as Levi and I were separated so I could beat the shit out of him. Girls against guy was probably an obvious option that occurred to everyone, but no one spoke it since it would leave me teamless and uncomfortable. Maybe height differences? Tall people against shorties? “Well bigger teams would be better, that’s for sure so we can knock out the idea of six little teams. Maybe we can split by colors we’re wearing?”

Before anyone could consider my lackluster suggestion, Levi cleared his throat, “Team captains.”

We all turned to him (yet again it seemed) and he explained with an evil glint in his eyes, “We’ll nominate to team captains then they will pick people to be on their teams.” He looked around at all of us as we processed the idea, “I’d like to nominate myself and Hanji.”

Well at least he made his intentions clear. “You’re on Raviolli. I’m taking your ass downtown for a drink and dumping it in the trash where it belongs.”

He smirked and took a step into the circle, “Good. Then let’s decide who goes first.”

I followed his example as I looked around for an idea as to how to pick who went first. “Flip a coin?” I wondered.

“Thumb war!” came the shouts from the peanut gallery (Sasha and Connie). And I didn’t mean that in a bitter way at all. I adored them; they were bright, talented kids that managed to enjoy life to the fullest even amongst the hell thrown at us. Sasha had her moments where she seemed like a completely different person with an intense aura, but overall she was a goofy fun-loving person. Same went for Connie.

Their suggestion captured the essence of their personalities; ridiculous yet glorious.

 

“Yes!” I cheered. “Levi come on!” I quickly crossed to him and reached out my hand.

He sighed and took my hand then we positioned for an intense battle of the thumbs. Well at least I did. He stood there with his usual bored expression.

After a quiet countdown I lunged my thumb at his.

Five seconds later Levi had already won.

He smirked and wiped his hand on his pants like the germaphobic asshole he pretended to be. “Losing already shitty-glasses?” I punched his arm and he laughed softly before choosing his first team mate. He snapped his fingers and pointed at the ground beside himself, “Eren.”

Horse-shit scoffed as Eren crossed to stand by Levi. Midget man narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Jean, “Do you have a problem with my decision?”

I watched passively as Jean rolled his eyes. I didn’t mind the bickering; it gave me more time to think. “Yeah, if you’re just going to choose by personal loyalties rather than by skill, then you’re going to lose. I, for one, didn’t take you as the weenie sentimental type.”

Wow Jean must’ve been feeling particularly pushy because that left us all slightly scared. For his physical being though, we weren’t worried about ourselves…just worried about his stupidity.

Levi raised an eyebrow in a challenging manor (don’t ask me how it just seemed challenging), “’Sentimental’? You think I chose Eren simply because he’s my boyfriend?” A blush crawled across Eren’s face at Levi’s use of the term ‘boyfriend’ and my heart practically melted inside but I forced it to stay solid so I could watch the brawl about to go down. “You must be feeling jealous to think that.” He clicked his tongue and began to circle Eren, stroking under the taller man’s chin as he did so. “No, no, no…Do not underestimate him. True; he’s clumsy, scatter-brained, emotional, sloppy, lazy, too attractive for his own good, and anger prone,” he turned on his heel suddenly and stood directly next to Eren (which made his seem even shorter pff) in his previous position, “but. He’s incredibly strong and possesses a talent that will, without a doubt, bring us to victory.”

The tension among the circle was enormous and if I hadn’t chosen that moment to look at Eren’s face, I would have continued to stand there fully expecting them to have sex right there in front of me. Eren was so confused, it was comedic. He eyes were so wide and bright and his mouth was hanging open in surprise yet his eyebrows were furrowed in an angry manner. He was insulted and confused and flattered and so adorable oh my goodness sweet perfect little gay boy.

Suddenly I found myself smothering Eren in a lung-crushing his as I stroked his hair and cooed, “Awwwwwwww Ereeeen! My sweet precious little Eren.”

He lamely struggled to escape my grasp, but due to being pulled down to my height, he was in an awkward position and therefore could not escape.

“Your turn to choose,” Levi barked as he pulled me off of the sweet perfect little gay boy.

I scrambled away and raked my eyes over my options. My eyes were instantly drawn to three people; Mikasa, Erwin and Armin.

Armin and Erwin because they were both brilliant strategist, though Erwin more physically able because of his Captain America resemblance and Armin was just his cute shota-like self. However, if I chose Armin I would win immediate jealousy points from Jean, and if Levi chose Jean, there was about 85% chance he would take a shot for Armin so team Germaphobe would be down one.  

And then Mikasa. Chick was a fucking ninja okay. She was smart and a fucking ninja. Not to mention she was my ‘date’, and while she could have ignored me and been pissy- she didn’t. By choosing Mikasa I would win a ninja and possibly a friend…and a snort from horse-shit.

I chose Mikasa.

Two strategist would still be left, so even if Levi took one I’d have the other. I predicted I’d get Armin though, since Erwin was a close friend to Levi and a physical threat.

I was correct, and ended up with Armin- that wasn’t a bad thing though. Kid was a genius and we worked great together despite personality differences- so I had absolutely no complaints.

The process of sow, well thought-out selecting continued until eventually two teams had formed. My team; Mikasa, Armin, Petra, Connie and Jean (yeah my whole Jean-Taking-A-Shot-For-Armin-Plan wasn’t going to work out, but I still had a great team!) and then team Levi; Eren, Erwin, Sasha, Ymir and Krista.

Impressive team Levi but I still planned on winning.

Our attention was brought to horse-shit who stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Okay, time for procedure crap.” He help up a gun thingy, “First off, this is what your gun looks like. You aim at someone,” he pointed his gun at Eren, “Then you pull the trigger and voila.” A light beam travelled to Eren and his vest lit up in several places then continued to flash on and off. “Once you’re shot, your gear will continue to blink until you go to the observation platform to read how to turn it off. Normally someone would just take you gear off when you got shot and send you up to the observation platform, but since I’m the only employee here and I’m playing we have to do it a different way. The observation platform is right up those stairs and it’s through the door that’s directly in the middle of the hall. Inside, there’s food and drinks that Armin and I already set up. There’s a glass wall that looks out into the arena so you can watch everyone play, as well as there are tv monitors that are connected to the cameras set up all over the arena. Yes, they do record certain games for advertisements but only with the players permission and yes, I gave them permission to record us…there are three stations throughout the whole arena- they’re basically bases for each team and since we only have two teams, just ignore the third base. When you find your base, you will also find a map to the arena that may help you a teensy bit.”

I was borderline between intently listening to gather all the knowledge I could and dozing off during his pesky neighing. But the map part did catch my attention. If the arena needed a map to get around, then how big was that place?? If looked fairly large from outside, but how much of it was attributed to the arena itself…?

I didn’t bother listening to the information about the observation platform though- I didn’t plan on ever having anything to do with it.

He pressed his fist to his mouth as if he was trying to remember something from long ago, then shrugged. “I think that’s it. Armin, did you catch anything I missed?”

Armin nodded and proceeded to bore us to death- I mean enlighten us on the information Jean neglected to give us, “The guns are located right outside the entrances to the arena, so you will each just take one when you get there. There are extra materials at each base- though these are only for is a strap breaks on your vest or something so don’t bother getting too excited. If you need to go to Jean for any reason; to go out to use the bathroom, ask a question or even just get help with adjusting your gear, just come find him. And you can’t shoot him when you find him- if you try to get to him just to cheat then you’ll be disqualified and he’ll stay in the game. You should also know that nobody can shoot you either if you are going to him for help…In the observation platform there is some simple audio equipment so when you get up there you can play any music you want. It’ll play in the platform and in the arena so you can even mess with the players a bit. And lastly, no funny business, okay? Cheating takes the fun away so don’t even bother.”

I was dying. Slowly dying. At the hands of my own team mates. Could we just go already?? I vaguely wondered how Armin knew so much if Jean was the one that worked there, but decided I didn’t really give a fuck and went with believing they had come earlier and Jean already told him all the secrets of playing laser tag. I raised my hand and blinked innocently as they looked at me with confused expressions. “Yes Hanji?”

“Can we go yet?” I whined.

They rolled their eyes (and I heard Erwin laugh at me) and nodded, “Yes- there’s a door at the end of each corridor down the left and right. Team Hanji go left and team Levi go right! Good luck!!”

And with that, we all broke into a mad dash to follow our respective teams into the hall.


	5. Team Levi Enters the Arena

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is short so todays update includes another chapter yay!

We followed Levi down the hall until we reached the doors. Levi and Erwin passed out the fancy futuristic gun things.

Man I was so pumped- some high expectations were set for this game. With how cool that place was and Levi saying I was the key to winning, I had adrenaline ready to come pouring out. I sure as hell was awake.

They paused before opening the door and Levi quickly scanned the whole group. “Is everybody ready? Everybody’s taken a shit if they need it and they’ve done anything they need to?”

We turned to look at each other, searching for any signs of hesitation. A glance at Sasha told us she had an idea she was holding back.

Levi sighed and gestured for her to speak.

“I think we need a team symbol,” she explained. “If anyone has eyeliner or something we could put those black streaks on our cheeks.”

We all turned to Ymir and Krista; the only other females on the team. They both shrugged. “We left our stuff in the car,” Ymir answered.

Then we glanced back and forth between Levi and Sasha impatiently.

Levi looked to her expectantly, waiting for her to give up.

Instead, she bit her lip nervously, “I have some chocolate and blueberries with me…”

We all watched blankly for Levi’s reaction. And he must have been high on drugs or something because he blinked then sighed and closed his eyes, “Blueberries would be preferable, but let’s put that on when we find our base.”

That thud you just heard in your head was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor. That’s right. The sound was so loud that you can hear it from a different time and location amazing right.

Either Sasha also had magical puppy eye abilities (which wouldn’t be a surprise though. She had very large pretty brown eyes) or he was trying to gain her favor early so she would follow his command later.

I hoped it was the second option since it would mean only Hanji and I had the power to control Levi.

Erwin and Levi opened the doors together and we got our first sigh of the arena.

I couldn’t help but think of the Hunger Games. It was a forest…place…thingy…I don’t know how to describe it, but the point is it looked like we were going to fight for our lives in the wilderness. The trees were freaking huge though, they went about 40 feet into the air.

We all gawked at our surroundings as we filed out of the hall. Levi took only one glance at the area before marching off to our left, “Don’t even think about climbing the trees.”

A few people nodded and followed him but Sasha and I continued to stare up a tree. No doubt a fall from that height would kill someone…but the fact that Levi told us not to made us really want to.

I looked at Sasha, and she looked at me. We had made our decisions. We were idiots and we were going to climb.

We ran up to the tree in front of us and searched for a foot hold to begin climbing. Fortunately, the ‘guns’ had a strap attached to it so I was able to sling it over my shoulder while I climbed. Sasha could, but she struggled to fit the strap over her boobs. You’d think that the designers or whatever would have worked around that issue but I guess not. Perhaps they didn’t expect to actually need to use it since nobody would be stupid enough to climb on of those trees.

They weren’t exactly climbing trees, so it was pretty hard to get a grip on it.

Being the stronger one, I crouched down and clasped my hands together, offering to give her a boost but she rebuked it.

She crouched down and offered her own clasped hands to boost ME up.

My manly pride was slightly wounded by that.

I was the stronger one, but I was also the smaller one.

Well at least last time we’d weighed ourselves together!! I’d worked out since then so I’d probably bulked up in that time!!

Jean used to tease me about being small because he learned that Sasha and I were about the same height and weight- though I actually weighed less than her.

“I’ve gained weight since our last competition,” I huffed, “I’m bigger now.” (yes, whenever we weighed ourselves or measured our heights we called it a competition)

A look of betrayal flashed in her eyes but she knew as well as I did that Levi could notice our absence at any time.

Speaking of Levi, why were we climbing this tree instead of following him? Oh right, because he told me not too…

Well hey! If we got high enough we may have been able to scope the area! Yeah! That was a good excuse.

Once Sasha got up on the first branch she helped me up and we began our ascension.

It took some struggling but eventually we fell into a rhythm and worked together.

We weren’t particularly close, but I had known her for a long time, so at the same time we were close.

Suddenly a chill went down my spine.

For no apparent reason, dread filled me.

I could feel stone grey eyes boring into my back.

I glanced down and, as expected, I discovered we were fairly high and Levi was glaring up at us.

“You fucking shits!!!” he yelled, “Didn’t I just say NOT to climb any Godamn trees?? What the fuck is wrong with you???”

Sasha and I flinched and met each others eyes. We knew we had three options; be murdered by Levi, fall out of the tree and die, or stay in the tree.

We opted to stay in the tree and stare down at the people gathering at the trees trunk. Levi looked even shorter. Granted we were only 15 feet up, but still.

I recognized something in Levi’s expression that tugged at my heart: panic.

And as soon as I noticed this I started to panic, too.

I frantically scrambles to move down and Sasha gasped, “Eren?? He’ll kill us!”

I shook my head and looked up at her, “No no- well yes, but even-“

Then my foot slipped because I was looking up at Sasha instead of at the tree where I was stepping and my fast descend began.

My mother wanted me to be more observant and y’know what? I did too.


	6. Team Hanji Enters the Arena

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> such tiny chapters...sorry guys  
> im working on making a fake textbook about titans for cosplay and im hoping to have it down by halloween...i highly underestimated how much work would go into making it and i have an early special event tomorrow so todays update is on the smaller side.

As Petra passed out laser guns to everyone, Mikasa and I went around smearing black face paint on people’s cheeks. We came prepared.

Armin watched us and tilted his head, “What are you two doing?”

I winked at him as I strategically painted Jean’s face without looking at him, “We need a distinction between teams! This makes us special.”

He nodded and allowed Mikasa to paintify him as I patted Jean’s cheeks to signify I had finished.

He looked quite proud.

The little horsey believed he was going to defeat Eren. Only this time could he defeat Eren and that was because I was determined to beat Levi.

Once everybody was ready, we silently nodded to each other and headed into the arena.

It was magnificent. It was basically a giant forest and I was 50% sure it was all living plants! It didn’t look like plastic one bit.

The walls at our sides were pure white and extended to quite some distance before a corner was reached. At least that’s what I guessed. There were trees in the way blocking my view.

I looked to Jean. It was rumored he was a good leader so I wanted his thoughts, “Where shall we go first?” After the words left my mouth I realized he knew where everything was so it may have seemed like I was cheating or something!

He opened his mouth to answer and I hurried to stop him, “Wait no! Don’t!”

He furrowed his eyebrows and waited for an explanation. “It kind of feels like cheating- to ask you something like that.”

He rolled his eyes, “So am I just going to do nothing this whole time because I work here?”

I bit my lip and thought for a moment, “No…just on this, and anything else that requires previous knowledge to excel in.”

He nodded so I turned to Mikasa instead, “Where do you think we should go?”

She looked to the left, then to the right, and then walked straight ahead without saying anything.

We wordlessly followed without a question. After a short travel we came upon a base.

There was a large cone shaped roof embedded in the trees that consisted of strictly branches, eaves and sticks. The ground directly beneath it was flat dirt and in the center were the promised extra supplies. The trees surrounding the circle had the before mentioned maps.

I immediately dashed forward to inspect them as the others did the same. The arena was in the shape of a square with the three bases forming a triangle with equal distances apart inside of it. The observation platform was centered at the front wall, but besides that the arena was a bunch of trees.

We couldn’t guarantee which other base Levi had chosen so we were going to have to check both…unless they were going to do the same. This was going to take a lot of collaboration.

I turned back to the group and found everyone still examining maps but Armin was taking out the extra supplies.

Weird considering they would only replace broken straps?

I went to join him and help pull out tools so he could view them properly. What could the blond coconut be up to? I was patient and didn’t ask though- I understood that he was thinking rapidly and didn’t need a distraction so I waited.

Finally, after thoroughly inspecting everything available, he looked up at me.

“Hanji…I have an idea…It’s going to take time and a LOT of thinking between the two of us, but it could really give our team an advantage.

It’s just really kinda sorta crazy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do you think the teams are going to react when they find they both had the same idea to put dark streaks on their cheeks  
> oh! and also! can you guess what Armin is up to??


	7. The Blushing Boy Wandered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the random days of nothing  
> got busy :/  
> and ill be a little busy this whole week too but ill do my best to keep updating  
> also there is no like...'endish feeling' to this chapter sorry  
> it ends rather abruptly

As I fell I wondered who I would see first in heaven. Marco, because he was the most recent person I knew to die? Mom because I think about her every day? Dad because…is he even dead or…?

Maybe the law of gravity was suspended in laser tag so I would just be sent into the observation platform instead of death.

Hah no.

No way in hell was I dying because my foot slipped.

I tried to move into a position that would inflict the least amount of pain upon collision. I couldn’t think of anything. Naturally I wanted to land on my feet but I knew that would wreak havoc on my legs and hips and spine and everything.

I heard the boyfriend yell, “Back!” and I automatically understood the message to turn my back to the ground. Either that or he was telling everyone to back up which would be rude considering they could cushion my fall and that would save me.

I kinda thought it might be hazardous to my spine but I decided the term ‘yolo’ applied to that situation and to trust Levi.

Sure enough, my impact was not with the ground- it was with someone’s chest and arms.

They fell back a little bit but quickly balanced themselves and held me close to them in a death grip.

I could instantly tell it was Erwin. Only captain America could simply catch a person falling from twenty feet up. That and he was the biggest person on the team.

I was immediately yanked away from Erwin and pulled down into Levi’s face.

I was still unable to stand so Erwin kept hands on my waist to steady me and hold me up at the same time. As if falling out of a tree wasn’t enough to make me unstable on my feet, Levi pulled me into a hug (stronger than a Hanji hug) and swore a million times a minute.

“You fucking idiot what the fucking shitting fuck is fucking wrong with you,” he murmured into my hair.

I struggled to escape, as I guess it was strangle Eren with hugs day, and Erwin helped me out again.

He pulled me away when he noticed my struggle and pushed Levi back, too.

Levi looked hurt but his gaze was pointed at me- not Erwin. I took a moment to catch my breath, then lost it to laughing. “Oh man…that was terrifyingly cool.”

Everyone stared at me with horrified expressions and Sasha snorted above us which made me laugh even harder, “I’m…so sorry! I just…It was scary and I fell because I was busy panicking about you panicking and…I’m such an idiot oh my God.”

Levi wore the world’s most exasperated face as he sighed, “Okay…well…since my dumbass is clearly fine, let’s get Sasha down and head back to the base.”

Huh. I guess they had already found it in the time it took Sasha and me to climb the tree.

“’My dumbass’?” Ymir teasingly quoted.

Levi ignored the comment and called up to Sasha, “Can you climb down or will you follow Eren’s example.” Excuse you, there’s no need for such hostile sarcasm Mr. Sassy pants. Like he didn’t even really ask it as a question, he just added it to purposefully point out my clumsiness.

I was trying to think of a sly way to make fun of his height when Sasha answered, “I think I can climb down! It’ll take me longer than getting up though.”

He nodded then her slow and boring descent began.

Levi discreetly took my hand in his as we waited. I glanced at him in suspicion and he pretended he didn’t notice.

I smiled and looked back at Sasha, “I’m standing on solid ground you  know…I can’t fall- I’m fine.”

The corners of his lips curled up and you could only tell it was a smile if you were specifically observing him. “You seem to be still falling for me.”

I was flabbergasted at the cheesiness of his statement.

He noticed my total flabergastment out and chuckled softly.

“Hey Jaeger, your gay is showing,” Ymir snickered behind us. Fucking lesbians man she had no right to speak.

“Ymir,” Erwin scolded, “That is a completely inappropriate thing to say. Levi is the one who made the incredibly gay comment.”

Ymir laughed and Levi narrowed his eyes at Erwin. Hey I was just glad Captain America seemed to be on my team that day, I had no complaints.

Suddenly there was a sigh from above and a ‘whoosh’ sound, then Potato Girl was falling into Erwin’s arms.

He held her bridal style since she gave no indication she wanted down and she fanned herself with her hand, “Oh Erwin! So strong!” She giggled as he set her down with a smile, “I got tired halfway down so I decided to just let go.”

I stared at her awestruck as Levi stared at her completely unamused. That was some crazy trust exercise Sasha. I mean, sure I trust Erwin and you did fall from a significantly lesser height, but to trust him to catch you falling out of a tree without giving him any warning…

Yeah, just- yikes,

Levi tugged on my hand to get my attention then led the troupe away from the tree.

The base must have been a little far because five minutes of walking and we were still going strong. Not that it was a hard journey or anything, just how far could it be? How big was that place?

I swear to God, Levi had to have been reading my mind because he chose then to tell me we were close.

I nodded and shuffled onward. I needed to take some time to think game strategy. Or maybe I didn’t need to…I had the sneaking suspicion Levi and Erwin had it all under control.

“Hey brat, pick up your feet,” boyfriend complained.

“Hey Levi, pick up your attitude,” I mocked.

“That was surprisingly sassy coming from you, Eren,” Erwin commented.

“I find Eren to be quite sassy actually,” Christa piped in.

I laughed and the group suddenly halted. We had arrived at the base. It was like a circular tree hut thingy but instead of taking in the view I ran towards one of the maps. “Which base do you think Hanji’s team chose?”

Erwin came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder, “We can’t know yet. We’ll have to check both if we want to take an offensive position.”

“What if we take a defensive position?” I wondered.

“Then we wait,” Levi answered.

We stood there awkwardly waiting for someone to say something. Nothing was being said, so I decided to take it upon myself.

“So what are we gonna do?”

Nobody answered for a while but it wasn’t awkward anymore- they were all busy thinking.

“I say we take defensive,” Erwin suggested. “Levi, I know you’d prefer to go fight, but Hanji would too. I say we wait and prepare for their tricks. In the time it’ll take them to find us we can train everyone in basic combat and set up traps.”

Levi nodded and had no protest. Ymir seemed a little taken aback by how agreeable he was (which made sense considering his snappy personality) but the rest of us weren’t. Levi trusted Erwin whole-heartedly and would do whatever he said if Erwin really thought it was the best thing to do.

But Erwin was ALWAYS right. Shortly after meeting him, I came to place my utmost trust in him, too.

Levi crossed his arms and turned to address the group, “Alright then, let’s all get started figuring out different tactics we can use as Erwin plans some traps. Should he need your assistance, go fucking help him. He’s old you see-“

“Levi.”

“If he breaks a hip y’know-“

“I’m not THAT old.”

“Fun fact, he personally knew George Washington-“

“At least I age fabulously.”

Now that shut Levi up. At least for a moment.

He narrowed his eyes at Erwin, “And just what does that mean?”

Captain America gave us a view of his magnificent orthodontics then walked away. No, _sauntered_ away.

The boyfriend sighed and shook his head. “Ugh, okay, everyone grab your guns…” He lifted his gun then made a ‘tsk’ noise as he inspected his weapon. “Filthy…”

His eyes suddenly lit up and his eyes flew up to me. I knew he was simply thinking and not examining me, but I still squirmed under his intense stare regardless.

“Eren…” he spoke slowly, “Go find Armin or Jean and ask for the whereabouts of the cleaning supply closet.”

I groaned, “Seriously Levi? This is hardly the time for your cleaning crap.”

He gently pushed my shoulder and hissed, “Eren! Just go!”

“Whyyyyyyyy?” I whined, though grudgingly started to walk away.

“You can’t know yet.”

“They said no funny business Levi.”

“Dirt is not funny.”

“How am I supposed to find them??”

He waved his hand like I was a pesky fly, “Just walk around for a while. They’ll hear you eventually.”

“But what if they shoooooot meeeeeeee?”

“Armin and Mikasa are on that team. Plus you’re cute- you’ll be fine- now shoo.”

I huffed and left my team to go do something sneaky that I did not yet comprehend.

Who knows? Maybe he really did just desperately need to clean. That counted as combat training in a way…right? No. no it did not.

Well hey, according to the Karate Kid movie it did!

So I started wandering. That asshole Jean thought this was all fool-proof, but there I was, a fool proving it wrong.

I probably should have looked at a map before just beginning to walk around…that would have been smart…

I let out a childish whine and stopped in my tracks as I contemplated turning around and risking being beaten by Levi.

I started walking forward again and begin to think aimlessly as if to follow the invisible path.

Why was I doing this? Why did Levi need me to? I was fairly sure it wasn’t because he wanted to clean. One, because if that mischievous glint in his eyes, and two, because he specifically needed to use me as I had close ties with two of the enemies.

And apparently because I was cute. My cheeks began to heat up and I didn’t even bother trying to hide it since I was alone.  Sure, there were cameras everywhere (though I hadn’t seen any yet…they were probably hidden), but why the hell would they need to use a blushing boy glumly walking around on an advertisement?

Suddenly there was a horse trotting towards me. Wow my journey wasn’t that hard after all. Oh shit I was still blushing like an idiot calm the fuck down Jaeger!!

Of course, frantically trying to turn my blush off only made it worse.

When he finally reached me he gave me a proud, slightly breathless, smile, “Hey! Nervous to see me, huh?”

That made it worse. God fucking dammit.

“J-Jean?” I stuttered. EREN FUCKING JAEGER. DON’T GIVE THISE ASSHOLE POWER OVER YOU.

He adjusted his gun he had slung over his shoulder, “There was one more other employee still here and he was going to stay until we had comfortable started our session.” He pointed at me, “He noticed you walking around by yourself and figured you were out to find me.”


	8. The Blushing Boy Wandered Cont'd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember how that last chapter ended abruptly? yeah here's the rest of it  
> so its still Erens POV here

He adjusted his gun he had slung over his shoulder, “There was one other employee still here and he was going to stay until we got situated,” he pointed at me, “He noticed you walking around by yourself and figured you were looking for me.”

I smiled at him. For some reason he was really nice with this whole laser tag thing. I bet he was just proud that he was able to be in charge and all that stuff.

It reminded me that we were in fact friends. It was why we were able to bicker constantly- we knew we’d never really hate each other…no matter how close we came to it…

“Yeah!” Can you tell or show me where the cleaning supplies closet it?”

He quirked an eyebrow then opened his mouth only to close it and nod understandingly . “Levi?”

I rested my hand on my hip and nodded with him, “Yeah.”

He started walking to our left and beckoned for me to follow.

I jogged to catch up with him, but even after I did I had to speed walk to keep up with him. Horse-face was fucking tall. Well he wasn’t _that_ much taller than me, it was more of the fact that he had long horsey legs. I grimaced imagining how frustrated Levi must have gotten whenever he walked along side me.

The walk to the door was about the same distance it was from Team Levi’s door, so I guessed the spot where I met Jean was the middle of the arena.

I tried to visualize the map in my head to figure out where we were. Surely Jean wouldn’t lead me close to their base as well as he came from the other direction so that left me to assume that team Hanji’s base was the base at the top of the ‘triangle’. Of bases. That thing.

He opened the door and held it open for me then propped a block of wood against it so it wouldn’t close. It led to the front lobby again! He pointed at the closet to our left, “That’s where the cleaning stuff is. How much shit do you think he needs?”

I scrunched my nose and shrugged, “No clue. He didn’t say.”

He frowned and tapped his chin then crossed the room to unlock the closet door. “Here, I’ll just leave it unlocked. Come get whatever you need.” He raised an eyebrow as he headed back into the arena, “I trust you guys won’t cheat?”

I scoffed and stalked off without waiting for him to follow, “And I trust you aren’t using unfair advantages?” Really why would he even bother doubting us if HE was the one most likely to cause cheating??

I couldn’t see him but I could tell he rolled his eyes as the door clicked shut, “Whatever. Good luck Jaeger, you’ll need it.”

I turned around to sass him but found he was gone. Maybe that could explain why Erwin thought I wasn’t sassy- I simply never got the chance to let my inner sass shine.

I sighed and ran back to the base with two new breakthroughs.


	9. Super Cool Omni-Directonal Device Thingy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thus Armin's idea is exposed!  
> and in the next chapter we'll see Levi's plan exposed!!

I chewed on my bottom lip and tilted my head down as I thought, “So basically…you’re thinking….of like a, super cool omni-directional maneuvering…device thingy?”

Armin nodded and watched me carefully, “Yes. We have enough for maybe three people. Pooooooooossibly a fourth, but that’s unlikely.”

I nodded and looked back to the group, “Okay, Armin, Jean and I will work on developing the thingy. Mikasa, Petra and Jean will be the ones’ to actually wear them, and the rest of us will attack from the ground. For now, Petra will be our model, Mikasa and Connie go stand guard.”

They both nodded at the same time and split to separate areas. Armin started chattering away about ideas, though I could tell he was thinking out loud again rather than asking for help so I felt no guilt about ignoring him to watch Mikasa.

I might’ve sorta kinda a teensy little itty bitty teeny weeny bit been into that chick okay. I didn’t actually consider he as a potential girlfriend until I realized I enjoyed her company, but since then I had sure as hell begun noticing her.

She was hot. Very much so.

She wore a black tank top, black skinny jeans and red sneakers to match her red scarf. She almost matched me! I wore a black hoodless turtle-neckish jacket (I doubt that’s how one would describe such an article, but did I give a fuck? No. no I did not.) and black skinny jeans with yellow sneakers.

She glanced behind me, nodded, then started climbing up a tree. That was good thinking of those two; they’d be able to see more from a higher view.

“Hey Hanji?”

I tore my stare away from Mikasa (I stared for very good reasons ok. One she was hot, two I was worried she’d fall.) and looked down at Petra who stood next to me. She looked at me curiously and tilted he head, “Are you really here with Mikasa on a date? At first I assumed it was a ‘date’ like me and Erwin since she didn’t really like you much in previous meetings…but she seems to like you…” she trailed off and whistled innocently, “And you certainly seem  to like her.”

I was in great conflict. Seriously. Did I need to deny it? Hit Petra? Ignore her? Or maybe he thrilled? Squeal? Dance around?

I decided to go with the neutral way. I walked past her to join Armin and horse-shit.

“So how the hell are we gonna do this?” I questioned.

The Aryan coconut seemed to have it planned out. “Let me deal with the technical factors. Jean will help me construct it…Hanji, I’ll need you to be the one to figure out how to use it…”

Did he not know how to use the contraption he was trying to invent? I frowned, “You don’t know how to use it?” It felt like he was giving me a pity job and I did not need that- I could do more helpful things besides doing a pity job.

He gently shook his head, “Understanding how to make it and actually being able to use it are two different things.”

“Oooooooooh oh oh because you have no muscles and I do.”

He rolled his eyes and nodded, “Basically.”

I leaned my elbow on Petra’s shoulder, “So in the meantime…what? I can…oh! How about I sit here and complain about being bored?!”


	10. Caught in a Trap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now levi's plan is exposed  
> which plan do you think is more hazardous  
> like seriously

The jog back was fairly short. When I arrived at the base Sasha was blue berryifying everyone.

Let me tell you, seeing Sasha smear blue berries on Levi’s pale cheeks was the most beautiful sight ever. Honestly, it couldn’t get better than that.

He looked so sad like he was dead inside. Submitting to Sasha’s suggestion must have taken a deep toll. He hated having someone smear food on my cheeks and I knew it.

“If it upsets you so much then why are you letting her do it?” I laughed.

He grimaced as she finished and giggled, “Looking the part is a very important factor of playing such an intense game.”

Erwin smiled in amusement, “Eren- I think Levi’s trying to secretly tell you that he’s willing to dress up for _certain_ activities.”

Levi and I immediately froze, much to Erwin’s, Sasha’s and Ymir’s delight.

After laughing for a hundred years, Erwin patted my shoulder, “I’m just teasing you Eren.”

I shrugged his hand off and changed the subject as fast as I could, “Jean showed me where the cleaning supply closet it. Though I still don’t know why you need it.”

Erwin looked down at Levi in surprise, “Cleaning supplies? That’s what you sent him to get? Don’t tell me you’re planning on fumigating the other team.”

My eyes widened and I turned to Levi, hoping to see a sign that Erwin was batshit crazy and most likely on drugs. The boyfriend wasn’t that sick…right? Was it even allowed?

Instead of shaking his head or being baffled at Captain America, Levi smirked. He smirked. That little shit was planning on using chemical stench to weaken the other team?!!

“Isn’t that cheating?” I blurted out.

Sasha frowned across from me, “And isn’t that a bit of a health hazard for them?”

“Not if they’re smart enough to get away in time.” Well damn.

“But isn’t that cheating?” I repeated, putting emphasis on the CHEATING remark.

“We’re just using the available resources to our advantage,” Erwin explained, “It’s fine. I’m sure team Hanji is thinking up something too, so they’ll understand.”

I would have protested…if Levi didn’t look undeniably excited.

My puppy eyes may have been his weakness- but him being genuinely excited was definitely mine.

I loved seeing he be all happy ok? He liked to be grumpy all the time so seeing him be more cheery was like seeing sunshine pop out through stormy clouds.

Well okay, he wasn’t THAT gloomy, but you get my point.

Suddenly everyone was watching me expectantly.

Godammit I was monologuing in my mind again, wasn’t I?

“I dozed off, what is it?”

Ymir raised her eyebrows and smirked, “Daydreaming about those _certain_ activities Eren?” Fucking freckled lesbian…

“Shut up,” I snapped, “Ms. ‘I’m-gonna-just-discreetly-sneak-my-hand-up-Krista’s-skirt-and-hope-nobody-saw’.”

Sasha and Levi cracked up as Ymir rolled her eyes and Krista went cherry red.

You bet I sure as hell noticed that happen earlier.

Erwin grinned and high-fived me as if to congratulate me making another sassy comment. I was gonna show him how sassy I could be throughout that game just you watch- oh for Christ sake- I was wearing booty shorts!! How is that not automatically sassy?!?

“Eren, come on, lead me to the cleaning stuff.”

I nodded at the boyfriend (yes ‘the’ boyfriend…very official wording I’m so fancy huh) and walked off towards where I remembered our exit to be. He told everyone to stay and guard as they waited then left to follow me.

“How did horse-face react to you asking for cleaning supplies?” He paused, “Oh wait, where’s their base? Did you get to see everyone?”

I shook my head, “No, I didn’t see them, but based on the direction he came from I’d say their base it the one right of ours.”

He nodded as I opened the doors for him like the proper gentleman I was. We headed towards the unlocked closet and the thought crossed my mind that Levi may have been excited about the cleaning supplies rather than being excited about the plan. What a goof.

He stood in the doorframe and examined the closet’s content then shrugged, “Take all you can carry.”

I turned and gawked at him. Why the hell would we need- oh right fumigating people. I closed my mouth and grumbled as I leaned in beside him to grab cleaning shit.

Hahahahahah ‘cleaning shit’ oh irony…

I grabbed as much as I possibly could but that apparently wasn’t enough for him. He added two bottles of windez and a bottle of bleach to my already windexed and bleached arms. Yeah that sounded weird even to myself.

“Ahhhhh- I can’t see- this crap is in my way,” I whined.

“I’ll guide you,” he grunted.

“Can you take this windex here? It’s blocking my view…”Why was I carrying it all? He had fucking Hulk strength he better have been carrying stuff, too.

The evil bottle blocking my view was suddenly plucked away and I was no longer blind.

I strained to peak at him and discovered that he was carrying a plentitude of fans. Oh God this wasn’t going to end well I could smell the disaster.

We stumbled back into the arena- which was an accomplishment on its own. We opened the door and closed it while having practically no arms or hands! That’s impressive stuff right there. It was team work- we were meant to be together.

“Which way is the base again?” I wondered.

He nudged me a little to the left and walked ahead of me. At least he knew where he was going. Which was weird. I mean you’d think I would know it better after running around. But I guess it found it first and he had more time to study the map while I was gone.

“Eren are you listening?! Eren-” Oh was I monologuing again Jesus I needed to stop it with that.

Monologuing in my mind was quickly becoming a dangerous thing. I came to this conclusion when my foot got caught on something and I was swept into the air.

All of the cleaning stuff pressed into me as I was squished into a ball and pulled up high. It was a net. Where did Erwin get a net. I assumed it was Erwin’s doing at least, I mean he was sent off to set up traps so…

I groaned and shifter around but I knew there was no getting out on my own. All I could think about was how glad I was that all of the cleaning stuff was closed and none of it spilled on me.

Levi sighed from somewhere. I couldn’t locate him I was still disoriented and spinning. “I’ll go get help.”

“wHERE THE HELL DID HE EVEN GET A NET??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahoemenoy  
> sorry for being awfully slacky this week agaiiiiiiin  
> hopefully i'll get back into the hang of it again this weekend  
> also there will be one more after this, but it will definitely be shorter than this one  
> and just in case i dont pick up the slack this week, know its because im working on other pieces! im getting more ideas for other things so i may need to let out the feels for other ships soon so yeah.  
> also if you notice parallels between hanji and eren its because 1, im writing so its gonna sound like me a tad bit no matter who it is, and 2 because I am of the opinion that hanji and eren are actually quite similar and would make fabulous friends


	11. Spy on Team Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- sorry for all the typos in everything i do i am a ditsy person that misses all of that.  
> i should probably get an editor or at least have someone read over things i write. eh.  
> 2- sorry for being late with everything lately ::::/ trying to not but i've been getting busy  
> and 3- sorry for the small update >_

Death.

I wished death to rain upon me.

“How long is this gonna taaaaaaaaaaake?” I whined.

Armin, Jean and Petra sighed in unison and refused to answer.

I grumbled and rested my head against the tree I was leaning against. Curse Armin and his cool, time consuming ideas.

Building his ‘3D Maneuvering Gear’ as he called it, was taking up a whole eternity.

Granted- that was probably to be expected with such a complex thing but still.

At least we had all night to play. I was still a little worried Levi’s team would try something while we were busy making 3DMG, but my inner psychic told me they wouldn’t. They were probably up to something.

I snorted. ‘Up to something’. Like cleaning. We all got a kick out of the fact that Levi sent little Eren to find cleaning supplies.

“Hanji.”

I looked around for whoever called me and eventually my eyes landed on Mikasa.

She waved for me to come over. Not just to come stand at the base of the tree so she could say something really quick, no, she wanted me to come sit with her.

Trying to appear not too happy, I walked over and threw my gun over my shoulder.

She scooted over and reached out a hand to help me up.

I was only a little surprised by her strength. I knew she was strong, but I could have hung limply and she would have pulled me up effortlessly.

“So how’s the construction going?” she asked once I was up.

“Boring. It’s taking forever! It’ll take a whole lot more time and they’ve already taken half an hour.”

She nodded and looked back at the ground in guard mode again. “Ah…what’s the plan for when the things are finished?”

My mouth fell open to form a small ‘o’.

“I didn’t…I haven’t thought about it yet,” I admitted.

A small smile formed on her lips (which absolutely made my heart melt ok she was such a stunning beauty and the smile was so cute aaaaagh) and she chuckled softly, “Let’s make a plan while we wait then.”

I nodded, “Yes…” I shrugged and glances at Armin and Jean who were peacefully working together, “I say we charge them. Just flat out attack all at once. Levi won’t expect something so rash.”

“We should send someone to spy on them. To find their base so when we attack we can surround them,” she shrugged calmly.

My eyes lip up, “Yeah! Uuuh…you! You should go.”

She looked at me curiousy and waited for an explanation.

“Well, Armin and Jean are busy, Petra’s helping them and between the rest of us you’re the most likely to not be shot on sight if caught. Especially if Eren is the one to catch you. He’ll let you go.”

After a moment with no reply she looked at me thoughtfully, “We should both go. It’d be better not to go alone. Connie will be fine guarding by himself- we can shout a warning if we get caught.”

Hell yes.

“Sure! Let’s go!”

We got out of the tree and walked over to the…uh…the…laser tag couple? I don’t know.

“Hey! We’re gonna go spy on team Levi!”

The paused for a second as if questioning my randomness but when they noticed Mikasa standing with me they decided it wasn’t ridiculous. Everything’s ridiculous with me huh? I was offended.

Connie nodded at us as we left to let us know he’d be fine and we headed on our way. To spy on Levi.

If he caught me he would shoot me immediately. Or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he would have thought it’d be too early to shoot me so he’d let me go.

I was monologuing like Eren did so often. It would have been the perfect moment to fall into something.

“Hey Mikasa…be careful for traps. They have Erwin on their team. He’s a pranking master.”

She nodded and kept walking, but I knew she listened to my advice.

See, I knew I was careless and clumsy sometimes, but I wasn’t unobservant. Eren was. That’s what separated us on the idiot factor.


	12. Team Hanji's Spies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look a /decent/ sized chapter  
> Eren's POV  
> some Ereri fluff because who doesn't want that  
> they're cute babies  
> as are hanji and mikasa

After being taken out of the net (which was quite the adventure, let me tell you- Erwin said he found the net just lying around and out it to use. He was also the one to get me out) we went back to the base and laid out the supplies.

Well, everybody else did. Levi told me to sit down and stay put until they finished.

I didn’t mind though. I had a nice view of Levi’s ass, so no complaints.

Sasha went out to spray the area around us and the other organized everything so the fans were positioned behind the cleaning stuff ready to blast fumes at unknowing victims.

After a few minutes Levi sat down next to me and sighed as he slung his arm around my shoulders, “Now we wait.”

“Don’t we have to keep watch though?” I wondered.

He shrugged passively as if his competitiveness didn’t exist anymore, “I created the plan. Those little shits can carry it out.”

I raised an eyebrow, “What about me?”

He snorted and pulled me closer, “You’re my little fucker, not a little shit.”

“You call me a little shit all the time-”

“Shhhhhh.”

I laughed and leaned my head against him. How long would we have to wait for something to happen? While I did enjoy his company, how long exactly was that going to continue?”

“How long do you think we’re gonna wait?” What if we wait for too long because they’re also waiting?”

He looked at me thoughtfully, “We’ll out-wait them. I don’t see how that’s a problem for you though; you can just hang around until there’s conflict. We could even fuck while we wait.”

Was he serious. Because I would totally be okay with that.

“Too bad there’s camera’s everywhere,” he muttered, interrupting my predictable thoughts.

He peered at me curiously and gently ran a hand through my hair, “Probably shouldn’t have said that. You were thinking things, weren’t you? Your face is all red.”

I groaned as I covered my face and leaned away from him but he chuckled and pulled me right back.

He must have supposed Hanji would take forever doing whatever because he seemed to intend to sit together for a while.

“What do you think Hanji’s planning?” I wondered as I played with his hand.

“…Not sure. Either something rash in hopes that I wouldn’t suspect it or something very intricate in hopes that I wouldn’t figure it out.” His hand suddenly wrapped around mine tightly- almost painfully. “They know us all very well so they have the means to predict our actions. Especially you and Erwin…” He loosened his grip on my hand and gently rubbed my palm with his thumb, “Since they’ve done experiments on you.”

I hummed and closed my eyes. It was nice sitting with him. Despite what you’d originally think (or at least it surprised me) he had really soft hands. Like abnormally baby-butt-soft hands. Kinda funny actually.

I sat up a little and looked at him, “Hey, what did you mean earlier? Why did you pick me first?”

He blinked and brushed some hair out of my face, “You can’t know yet. It’s a secret.”

I frowned. That didn’t seem right. If I was the key to winning, didn’t I have the right to know what I was going to do?

He pulled my face into his hands and smirked, “You’re very charming Eren. In your own special way. That’s all I’ll say.”

I narrowed my eyes when he released me, “What does that mean?”

He shrugged, “You’ll have to wait and see.”

Was he going to make me seduce someone oooooooooor???

“If Mikasa and Armin suddenly showed up, would you shoot them?”

My frown deepened with the sudden question, “Hmmmm…yes?..mmm…I don’t know…probably not…immediately.” I tried to think of someone close to him on the other team then glanced at him really quick, “Would you shoot Petra?”

“Yes.” His answer wasn’t rushed or too long thought-out; it was simple and firm.

It made sense though…if it had to be done, he’d do it without hesitation. He’d shoot me if I were on the other team, no doubt about it.

He was strangely comfortable. He was also strangely touchy feely. Normally in public he wouldn’t be to cuddly, but apparently laser tag threw all the rules out.

I rested my head on his shoulder again and curled up against him. If we had time to kill, then why not take a nap on the boyfriend.

“Keep talking,” I mumbled.

He shifted a little and played with my hair, “Why?”

I sighed and lean into his touch. God he knew I liked having my hair played with. It was totally my weakness. “Because your voice sounds nice.”

He snorted, “Or do you need me to lull you to sleep? You’re sleeping an awful lot…are you feeling okay, brat? It would explain the extraordinary clumsiness.”

“I’m fine,” I assured him, “I just got to bed really late.”

He grunted in response and continued to run his hands through my hair.

I was gonna sleep. Screw the game I was getting sleepy.

I got up and crawled into his lap so I was sitting between his legs with my head resting under his chin.

He grumbled at my new position but made no move to protest it.

He wasn’t going to keep talking, but I was happy with what I got.

I opened my eyes momentarily with the intention of looking up at Levi, but instead my eyes met with a different Ackerman.

Mikasa was behind some bush with Hanji. Her eyes widened when I noticed her and Hanji froze beside her.

They were spying on us. I could tell they weren’t there to attack us because they weren’t aiming their guns at anyone and they froze instead of lunging. I was in a vulnerable position- I would have been easy to shoot.

I was going to nudge Levi and ignite a battle but I noticed something that made me hold back.

They were holding hands.

Hanji and Mikasa.

They were holding hands.

They really were getting along oh my God I shipped it so much ok please let them get married.

I blinked then leaned back against Levi to go back to trying to sleep and pretended nothing happened.

After a moment I peeked through one eye to check on them and I saw them scurry away quietly.

That would be the only time they’d get away like that though. I gave them one pass and that was it. I had already compromised our game with that. Man Levi would kill me if I told him.

But they looked cute and they were working together nicely. Mikasa didn’t warm up to people easily so it was nice seeing her be close to someone. Romantically close.

Even if it was Hanji.  I was under the previous impression that Mikasa wasn’t too fond of Hanji, but I was glad to be proved wrong.


	13. 1st Show Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hanji's pov  
> the first battle in the arena!! whoop!  
> and look! a good sized chapter!!! :O
> 
> I noticed the humor the first part of this series had is lacking greatly in this and I tried to bring it back, but there's a lot more action in this one so it won't be at the same comedy level. but yeeeeeeeeh  
> aggggggh things are finally starting to go down!!

Almost two hours later

They were done.

Armin and Jean hooked up the gear to me and I’m not even gonna bother trying to describe what it looked like. It was a series of belts wrapped around my limbs and some weird gear things. That’s the best you’ll get out of me. I don’t know, they told me to press a button, aim the thingy then go whoosh whoosh into the air.

It was super weird. I almost face planted into a tree on my first try.

I wobbled around at first but eventually was able to land on a tree branch. I guess the only skill you really needed was to know how to dodge a tree; and if you didn’t know how to? Well you had better learn fast son.

It took a lot of balance...and a lot of more balancing. And it was a great workout.

They watched in awe as I jumped around the trees, testing out the new device. I wasn’t exactly graceful on it, but I could move well and that was good enough.

I got back on the ground and stood still as Armin pulled the stuff off of me. I had been using what would be Mikasa’s gear so she needed to get it on- Jean and Petra were ready for training.

There was no fourth set, but I was okay with that. I knew the 3DMG would give us an advantage, assuming nobody would fall and die. But we were going to pretend that falling to our deaths wasn’t even a threat.

“Okay…this is gonna take a lot of balancing as you saw…it’s like learning how to ride a bike! The best way to teach you is to stick you in the air and hope you don’t fall, but once you get the hang of it, you know you’ve got it down.”

They didn’t look worried at all. More curious. The three of them would catch on quickly, I could already see it. Mikasa was a ninja, Petra was a yoga instructor and Jean was a horse. I had complete faith in them.

“Don’t spend too much time trying to figure it out. We just need you to be able to move- we don’t need fancy flips and tricks, okay? Once you’re set to go we’ll go to their base, position ourselves then charge!!”

Once they started it was obvious that they were naturals. Mikasa got it immediately then came back to the ground to wait. Petra took a little longer to understand, but when she got it she had it perfectly. Jean got it as fast as Mikasa, but he stayed up until Petra was ready so he could practice more.

They got it a lot faster than I did. I was very proud of my selection. Good job Hanji! Pat on the back! Your team was perfect.

“Okay team! Follow me!” We started off in Levi’s direction and I began giving out orders, “Connie and I will charge in first with Armin in tow. Petra, Jean and Mikasa- you three hide in the trees above us and after we get started you guys begin the second wave. If we need to retreat, Jean or I will give the call.”

I was ready man. Ready to go. Ready to take down Levi. I doubted we would take him down in just that rush, but it was worth a shot!

I turned on my heel to face my team mates which resulted in them suddenly stopping and tripping over themselves. Such little clumsy cuties.

Okay it wasn’t really clumsy since it was my fault but that was beside the point.

“We all ready?”

They all nodded as they looked at one another. We were ready for war.

“Okay…just don’t shoot Eren for now. He let us go, so we’ll give him a pass for now- shoot anybody else though.”

They nodded (though horse-shit snorted) and I turned back around to start jogging.

“Let’s go!!”

Connie came up to run next to me and I could hear Armin following close behind as the other three headed up into the trees.

The closer we got to the base, the stronger cleaning fumes became and holy shit!! How much did Levi have to clean for us to already smell it??

I pulled my jacket up to cover my nose and called out to the others, “Cover your mouths and noses if you can. That shit is strong and it will make you dizzy-

My sentence cut off as I came to a skidding halt upon arrival the enemy’s base- and arrival at a horrifying realization.

The fumes were purposeful.

There were fans with cleaning supplies in front of them aimed directly at us.

Sasha sprinted across the area and slid on the ground to turn then last fan on then rolled over to land sitting on one knew with her gun aimed at me.

Damn she was badass and I did not see such a smooth move coming.

There was a buzzing sound above me and hell broke lose all at once.

Connie and Armin started shooting as our ninjas arrived and team Levi got into position.

They were fast; Erwin ducked behind a tree right next to the fan Sasha had taken refuge to- after shooting at me though.

Mikasa came down and yanked me away before the laser hit me.

Ymir and Krista hid behind the same tree and aimed for Armin and Connie.

Levi shoved Eren, who was just waking up, behind a bush and did a fucking back hand spring to dodge one of Jean’s shots.

My eyes started tearing up and I almost fell to my knees when Mikasa set me on the ground again. Partially due to the shock of being yanked into the air and partially due to the intense smell of cleaning crap.

The fumes really were suffocating us.

All of Levi’s team had a rag to cover their faces while we were exposed.

Levi must have emptied the whole closet for that.

Levi immediately took focus to our air soldiers and didn’t even bother taking cover. He dodged everything with ease.

I was in the process of aiming at Levi while dodging Sasha when Petra’s worried voice got my attention.

She was calling for Jean and I saw in the corner of my eye that she had touched the ground to grab Armin.

Was he shot?!

I hid fully behind the tree so I could safely look at them and found that Armind hadn’t been shot. He was having a coughing fit.

I quickly looked around to check the rest of my team. Mikasa looked fine with the protection of her scarf, Connie was practically hacking up a hair ball, Jean was crying man tears (but still going strong) and Petra had started wheezing.

Godamn cleaning midget.

“Retreat!” I yelled.

My team sadly seemed relieved. They dashed away quickly and in a flash we were gone.

The adrenaline rush was fleeting and quickly replaced with and overwhelming feeling of defeat.

“Was that cheating?” Armin wondered.

“No,” Jean grumbled, “If that’s considered cheating then our stuff is considered cheating, too.”

I pushed my glasses to rest on top of my head and noticed a red flashing in the reflection as I did so.

Somebody had been shot.

I whirled around to face Petra.

She wore a sad smile and shrugged, “Erwin got me as we were running away.”

Precious little Petra had been shot…

Precious little Petra had been shot!

THAT ASSHOLE ERWIN WAS GOING DOWN.

Petra was going to have to go sit all alone.

“Hanji?” Shut your trap coconut.

Oh no Armin bby I’m so sorry for snapping at you in my mind aaaargh.

I walked to Petra and took her hands in mine, “We’ll get one of them for you so you won’t have to be alone for long.”

She nodded and gave me another sweet smile, “It’s fine. I’ll be watching you guys though, so play well! And good luck!”

Aw sweet Petra. Being so sweet. She didn’t deserve to be shot. I should’ve taken the shot for her dammit.

Jean helped her out of her 3DMG as we watched in mourning. We lost a member. Curse our rash actions. Oh wait that was my fault.

Godammit…

“Be careful, ok? Levi’s really pushing the limits so watch out for each other.”

She gave us one more smile before turning and leaving the arena.

“Our target is Erwin.” I declared.

They all nodded in silent agreement as we walked back to our base. We would avenge Petra. How dare one part of the mommy couple shoot the other part of the mommy couple?? True they weren’t a real couple but still, it should’ve been a sacred rule or something.

When we reached our base we all sat in a circle and began debating our next plan.

“Okay. Moping time over, let’s figure out what to do next.”

“Are we really going to go specifically try to get Erwin out, or are we going to do another plan and keep in mind to aim for him?” Connie questioned.

“Going for him specifically would be dumb,” Jean mused. “Let’s plan something and just remember we want to get him next. Our objective is still to win.”

“Let’s kidnap someone,” Armin blurted out.

We all turned to him, slightly bewildered, and waited for a solid explanation because let’s face it- that was as random as Mikasa’s condoms were.

“I don’t know, it seems like a funny idea to throw them off. Maybe we can get one of them while we kidnap someone or when they try to get them back?” he sheepishly went on.

“Maybe we can snag Eren!” I piped in. Yeah we would take the little gay boy from Levi. You take our precious strawberry we take your precious cheerleader!!

Jean narrowed his eyes, “Why Jaeger?”

I rolled my eyes and snorted, “Because he’s adorable and it’ll piss off Levi.”

“Same goes for Krista with Ymir,” Connie pointed out.

“Okay, so our kidnap targets are Eren and Krista. Whoever is easier to get, or preferably both if possible,” I decided.

Mikasa (subconsciously I bet) tugged at her scarf and glanced at me, “Are we going to secretively take them or barge in and take them…?”

She made a good point. Last time we barged in rashly we lost a precious sweetie. I couldn’t take that kind of pain a second time.

“Yeeaaah… maybe secretively…I don’t know, they’d probably take away the cleaning stuff after that, right?”

Jean whinnied (or laughed…I couldn’t tell the difference), “Let’s do it secretively- it’ll be a surprise when they find out they’re missing and they’ll be even more pissed.”

Inwardly I cheered. Imagining Levi being frantic about his missing boyfriend whom we stole gave my life a new purpose.

“Yes!! Yes yes! Let’s do it!! Should we all go, or just some of us?”

Horse-shit stood up and stomped on the ground, “Screw it. Let’s all go. It’ll be funner and easier if we get one of them alone.”

There was suddenly loud cheering in the arena and it meant one of two things; either Petra supported our plan, or was testing out the sound system and hit a random button.

Jean tilted his head up towards the ceiling, “Looks like Petra agrees.”

Armin looked up from plucking grass out of the ground, “Are you sure she wasn’t just-“

“SHE AGREES!” Jean announced, “Let’s go! What have we got to lose?? It’s a game, we’ve already played slowly, let’s just fucking be careless and enjoy ourselves!!”

And with that he galloped off into the distance.

I’m sure he intended for us to follow.

Which was good because that’s exactly what we did.


	14. Operation Kidnap the Princesses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren's POV.  
> in the last chapter Mikasa earned 5 hero points, Levi earned 10 ninja points, and Sasha earned 10 badass points  
> let's see who earns points in this chapter...
> 
> another good sized chapter! maybe i'm getting in the hang of things now.  
> I can't tell if the lackluster in the previous chapters was due to writers block or lack of action (since I had to build up to it).  
> both. probably both.  
> anyhoodle, enjoy the attention Jean gets. he'll get a chapter in his POV coming up soon!  
> mleeeeeeeeh yeah okay that's enough  
> enjoy!

After gathering my bearings I popped out from behind the bush.

Hanji had just called for a retreat and Levi ran over to me immediately.

“Eren!”

I brushed some grass off of my shoulder and smiled, “That was cool! You dodged everything!!”

He rolled his eyes and fixed my hair, plucking out a leaf as he did so, “Well yeah, I didn’t want to get hit. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to push you so hard but you were sleeping…”

Behind him the others were high fiving and beginning to walk over to us. I shook my head then gestured to them, “Nah I’m fine- come one, let’s talk with everyone.”

Krista jogged over and stood on her toes to brush dirt off my clothes, “Ahhh you have dirt all over!”

“You’re lucky they didn’t get you while you were slacking off,” Ymir snorted.

I laughed as Levi joined Krista in the process of degrassifyng/dedirtifying me.

I thought it was silly and sweet at first but that was until he was groping my ass. Not just brushing it innocently to remove dirt, no, he was shamelessly groping that thing at an angle where nobody else could see.

I yelped and stumbled behind tiny Krista much to Levi’s amusement.

He gave me a smug smirk and looked to Erwin, “So what next?”

“I don’t know but we need to be mindful of their new weapons,” he answered.

“That’s right! What were those?” I gasped. Whatever they were…it was amazing! No doubt Armin made them. I made a mental note that only three people were able to use it though. Oh! That must have been why they took so long! They must have been inventing those things!

“I don’t know, but those things don’t make them invincible or anything. Ironically, the one person we shot was one of the people using it,” Levi pointed out.

True true…Erwin managed to get Petra. Deep down I hoped somebody would get shot so she wouldn’t be alone for long but I didn’t dare sat that out loud.

“Who was using the stuff?” Ymir asked. Wow not observant huh??? Too busy making out with your girlfriend??? Ah I had no right to say that I was hiding behind a bush because I was previous sleeping.

“Jean, Petra and Mikasa.” Oh yeah, Mikasa used it- I was gonna make her teach me how to do that.

“Since Petra’s out, who do you think will replace her?” Ymir pressed on.

“Hanji. When Mikasa picked them up Hanji was already skilled in balancing themselves too make it easier for Mikasa. They know how to use it already.”

“You want to switch bases?” Erwin suggested. “It’ll throw them off guard. We’ll come from a different direction than they expect.”

Levi jerked his head to our left, “Alright. Let’s go.”

The boyfriend and I stayed in the back and followed as the group migrated to our new base.

He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me to his side, “Awake yet?”

I was not about to let him turn me on again to wake me up, just to tease me- never again…at least not with cameras everywhere. “Yeah I’m up. Being shoved into a bush does wonders for ya.”

He snorted and turned his attention back to the game. Or our journey in the game.

There was a high pitched whine ahead of us, an annoyed grunt, then a small blonde was walking past us.

Levi raised an eyebrow and reached out a hand to stop her, “Krista?”

“I left my purse on the ground- I’ll be right back!”

He nodded and dropped his hand to let her go. I broke away from his grasp, “I’ll go with her. Just in case.” I added.

Ymir strolled over to us, “She’s fine by herself y’know.”

Levi rolled his eyes then continued walking and beckoned for Ymir to follow him, “Whatever, just let them go. They’ll be fine.”

Ymir shrugged and followed him as I turned to follow Krista.

“I saw you let Mikasa and Hanji go earlier,” she peacefully commented.

“I-wait what?” I stuttered. Oh dang. Damn. Dammit did anybody else see?

“Erwin and I both saw.” What even-

“Do you and Levi have mind reading powers?” As soon as I said it I regretted it. It was probably the most stupid question I could have asked.

She giggled and shook her head, “No. And we won’t tell on you. We could see why you pardoned them.”

I grinned loudly (yeah that’s right you read me I GRINNED WITH SOUND), “So you ship them?”

A smile spread on her face and she nodded vigorously, “Yes! Erwin and I spent half an hour planning their wedding!”

“Why didn’t you call me over?! I was thinking about them getting married too!!”

“You fell asleep Eren.”

“Sooooooooo?”

“Oh this is just too easy.”

Our eyes widened and we whipped around to face a certain horse.

Jean stood a few feet away from us with his hand on his hip.

Krista and I instantly reached for our guns but it was useless.

I grasped and dropped my gun as a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me into the air.

Krista shrieked but then she was suddenly cut off. I glanced at her to see Mikasa was holding her and had covered Krista’s mouth with her scarf.

So that meant Hanji was holding me.

“Mikasa wanted to be the one to get you but we knew Krista would scream so,” Hanji whispered in my ear.

I stared at Jean in horror and noticed Armin pop into view. He waved for them to follow him then dashed away.

In the corner of my eye I saw Krista be carried away by Mikasa.

We were being kidnapped in laser tag.

Hanji zoomed off towards a tree and once we safely landed on a branch I started fighting to be free.

Hanji squeaked and tightened their grip around me (they were awkwardly holding me so I had my legs wrapped around their waist and I was facing them), “Stop! You can’t fight Eren, we’ll both fall!”

I paused for a moment, took into consideration how high we were, then continued to fight.

I knew Krista wouldn’t be able to escape Mikasa, but I sure as hell could get away from Hanji.

Hanji tried to keep their hold on me- they really did.  But it wasn’t enough.

And down I fell for the second time that day.

But then, I was reminded of something that I always needed to be thankful for- whenever I fell, someone always seemed to catch me. Whether it was falling down stairs, out of a tree or…out of a tree again.

Jean swooped down and snaked his arms around me while I was facing him as he caught me so when we touched the ground we could both stand. Awkwardly chest to chest though.

He kept his grip tight and called up to Hanji who looked terrified and was crying.

“Don’t worry he’s fine. I’ll take him from here.”

Hanji tears. Damn that was going straight to my guilt jar. I gave a hesitant smile and waved just to put them at ease.

They flashed a relieved smile then flew away.

“I warned them not to take you on, but they were convinced that ‘adorable little Eren’ wouldn’t be a problem.”

I brought my attention back to Jean and pushed my hands against his chest. He may have been bigger and stronger, but that wouldn’t stop me from trying.

In the very back of my mind I complained about being held closely to too many people in one day but quickly pushed the thought away to focus on trying to push Jean’s heart out of his chest. If there was one to be pushed.

He rolled his eyes and shot us both up into a nearby tree. He stopped on a branch and peered down at me, “You’re gonna have to stop if you don’t want to fall again.”

“I don’t care,” I growled. Fucking horse- just put me down!!!!!!!

He moved his hands down and pulled me up so I had to wrap my legs around him like I did with Hanji.

“Alright. You asked for it.”

I did not like the sound of that statement.

He took my right hand with a gentleness that shocked me enough to allow him to in curiosity of what he would do.

He stared right into my eyes and bit down on my thumb.

I yelped and ceased resistance. He took my moment of panic to continue jumping through the trees which threw me off even more.

When I weakly tried to push away he bit down with more pressure and I immediately gave up altogether. Though I did go limp just to make it more difficult for him.

Armin must’ve told him about my hand. Damn little rat.

I had a major weakness in my right thumb. We had it checked by a doctor when I was little but all they could tell us was that the nerves were sensitive there and I had weak joints in my hand.

So Jean biting it?

Felt like someone had set my hand on fire.

Suddenly we were on the round and he put me back on my feet. As well as dropped my hand.

“Hey, if you stop crying now I’ll carry you in and say you were extremely problematic to carry,” he offered.

I meant to mumble but it came out as a whimper while I rubbed my thumb. Normally I’d have kicked myself for looking so weak in front of him but I didn’t give a shit ok.

He furrowed his eyebrows and frowned, “Wow that really hurt you, huh?”

Unable to speak I nodded dumbly and began planning how I would murder Armin.

I could bite his thumb off and let him bleed out…

Jean picked me up bridal style and trotted towards their base.

When we arrived I pushed off of him but then was pulled into Hanji’s arms.

“Ereeeeeeeen!! I’m so sorry for dropping you!! Don’t tell Levi or he’ll kill me! Are you okay?? Please don’t dieee!”

I gave them a sheepish smile and patted their back, “I’m fine Hanji. I’m sorry for struggling so much, I put us both in danger.”

Mikasa put a hand on my shoulder and looked at me with deep concern, “Hey are you okay? Hanji said you fell.”

I gave her a reassuring smile (too much smiling involved in comforting people sheesh), “I’m fine, I’m fine. Jeez for people whose aim is to kidnap me you sure seem to worry about me a lot.”

Jean snorted and went to stand by Armin, “Psh. I don’t give a fuck about your physical well-being.”

“Says the douche who caught me.”

He shrugged, “Eh. That was in concern for our game- not in your health.”

“Speaking of which, how exactly does kidnapping me and Krista help you at all?”

They shrugged and looked at each other with giddy expressions.

“Because it’s fun?” Connie tried.

“Wasn’t fun for me,” I mumbled under my breath.

“Well what now?” Hanji wondered.

I sighed and rested my elbow on Krista’s head as we waited for our captors to decide what to do.

“Wait for them to notice and get pissed,” Connie suggested.

I’ll admit, I snickered.

My snicker seemed to remind them of my apparently already forgotten presence.

“They shouldn’t listen to this.”

“What are we gonna do? Shout it out to our team as you decide things?” Krista sassed.

I whistled and waited for their comeback.

Hanji narrowed their eyes and reached an open hand out to Mikasa.

“Scarf.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psst also don't forget to check out my tumblr!  
> send me request for some fanfics!  
> ooberry.tumblr.com


	15. The Bromance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hanjis pov!  
> todays update includes two chapters ooooooooooh  
> enjoy Jean and Eren's bromance

The poor little princesses were tied to a tree.

Eren whined like a little kid for a long time, but Jean whispered something in his ear and Eren immediately stopped.

I wanted to know, but at the same time, I didn’t. Probably something gay.

Jean popped a squat and sat down across from Eren and Krista’s tree, “I’ll stay with them. Let me know if you need me or if you’ve decided what to do.”

I was hesitant to let him go since he was an important asset to strategizing, but besides Mikasa, he would be the only one physically capable of restraining Eren. Mikasa might give in and let Eren escape. Sigh. If only Erwin or Levi would hold him down, that would have been awfully helpful.

Maybe Armin could talk him out of resisting us. Armin was smart and Eren’s best friend. Aw but I needed Armin for planning. Oh! Surely he wouldn’t take long though, he could do it.

“Hey, Armin?”

No blond coconuts came to my side.

I turned and looked around for him. Everyone did the same and our eyes fell upon a gun laying on the ground.

My blood went cold as I realized what happened.

“Fucking shit!!” I yelled, “We JUST kidnapped them, how could they have already gotten one of us?!”

Jean sighed and stood up, “I guess in the commotion they took advantage of our being distracted by this one.” He stuck his thumb out at Eren who stuck his tongue out in reply.

I rested my hands on my hips and pouted, “Well what now? Should we just skip ahead to kidnapping Levi?”

Eren snorted, “Good luck with that.”

“Mm, true…”

“We need Armin.” We all turned to Mikasa, “Let’s just have a formal trade off and fix this.”

I nodded and whipped out my cell phone. I had Raviolli on speed dial. Cause he’s special. And I loved seeing that his name was Raviolli on my phone.

Jean grabbed my phone before I hit ‘call’, “Hey, let me do this.”

I eyed him suspiciously then relinquished my phone to him. He sounded sure of himself and had an evil glint in his eye. If he wanted to mess with Levi then I was gonna fucking let him. He sounded scarier than I ever would so it worked better.

He moved to stand in front of Eren as the phone rang and surprisingly winked at him.

Eren more surprisingly, simply nodded in response. Jean untied Eren and he stood up to join him by the phone. What…?

Jean held the phone out and pressed the speaker button as Levi answered the call. “Oui?”

Jean reached out for Eren’s shoulder and spoke in a taunting voice, “Hello Levi…I’ve got someone here that wants to talk to you.”

Eren called out for Levi but Jean interrupted him by pulling him down and kneeing him in the gut. Eren wheezed and kneeled over but didn’t fight back- he simply looked up at the phone waiting for a reaction as injured sounds escaped his mouth.

Mikasa flinched beside me but made no move to help her brother, and that was what really confused me. What was going on??

“We’ve got a certain little blondie too.”

Krista looked back and forth between horse-shit and Eren but said nothing.

“We’ve got a certain little blond over here too…but we’re not going to be reduced to beating him.”

Jean held out his free hand and Eren put his own hand in it. Jean then proceeded to pinch Eren’s thumb quickly. Eren yelped and called for Levi again…yet his facial expression didn’t match the urgency his voice feigned.

“Shouldn’t criticize me, Levi. Eren’s the one who will pay for your mistakes.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me- this is a game of _laser tag_. Why are you kidnapping people and beating them? Eren, why are you _letting_ him? I know you can fight him.”

“I don’t know,” Jean purred, “I’m quite bigger than him. I could dominate him easily.”

Without any physical prompting, Eren let out a whimper. By then I had caught on to the fact that they were messing with Levi but I didn’t quite like it. I got that he hit Eren for authentic pained sounds but was that really necessary? Wasn’t Jean the one who said it was just a game?

If Jean didn’t beat Eren to death, Levi certainly would later just for being beaten in the first place.

“This is fucking ridiculous. Bring Eren and Krista to the center of the arena and I’ll bring Armin. No shooting at all- let’s make this a truce so we can just get out people back…Leave now.”

There was silence and for a moment we thought he had already hung up, but then he spoke up again, “And keep your filthy hooves off my boyfriend.”

Then he really did hang up.

And then Mikasa instantly stepped forward and slapped Jean’s face!!

He clicked his tongue, looked at the ground, then looked back up at Mikasa, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t expect that.”

She glared at him (man if looks could kill), “Let’s just get to the center so we can get Armin back.”

I walked to Eren and put my hands on his shoulders as I also glared at Jean, “Was it really necessary to actually hit him? I feel like you would have been fine without that little detail.”

“I’m fine.” Wow Eren defending Jean, that wasn’t a common occurrence. “Levi would know if I was faking it. The only way to really make him panic was to really hit me, that’s why I allowed Jean to. If I didn’t want him to I would’ve stopped him; it’s honestly fine.”

Eren went to high five Jean and they both shared a laugh as the rest of us stared in silence. It was easy to mistake their relationship for hatred. They constantly argued, insulted each other, talked about how much they hated each other, and as of recently, beat each other.

But silver linings. Eren was beaten with consent, and not in a sexy time. He was literally beaten.

They were actually very close, arguably as close as Mikasa and Armin, just in a different sense. They were family close, Jean was ‘bro’ close. The only reason they so openly hated each other was because deep down, they shared love for one another. It was actually a really cute bromance if you think about it. I would have shipped it if I hadn’t already planned the angry couple’s wedding.

I smiled and shook my head. Boys were stupid. That’s all I could conclude from that experience.

I pocketed my phone and started walking away, “Okay get Eren tied up and let’s go. Don’t forget your guns- just in case team Levi gets rowdy.”

Jean leaned down and picked up Mikasa’s scarf, releasing Krista as he did so, “What about Krista?”

“Krista’s smart,” I answered.

“Excuse you,” Eren called.

Jean tied Eren’s hands behind his back and escorted him as our troupe marched on. Connie stayed by Krista, though none of us were worried about her. She was probably more bored by the whole situation than anything.

I kept glancing back at Jean and Eren because DAMN that was fascinating. It seemed that when they weren’t around their sexual partners they were tame around each other. So maybe they acted bitter towards each other when Levi/Armin was around as sort of a pride thing? And then when not, it didn’t matter anymore? It was nice though, perhaps we should keep Levi and Armin away more often.

They were having a silly conversation, shoving each other as Jean made fun of Eren being tied up.

God boys were stupid.

There was a laugh next to me and I was surprised to find Mikasa was the culprit. She glanced at me and my expression apparently made her laugh even more.

“I know it’s weird seeing them be friends, but I can see you analyzing them.”

I laughed in relief and nodded, “Yeah it’s pretty interesting. I think they should have playdates where Levi and Armin specifically can’t be around- let’s see how strong we can make their bromance.”

She gave a little giggle as approval and went back to focusing on walking. Or focusing on whatever Mikasas focus on, point is she stopped talking.

Perhaps there really was a possibility of a relationship between us.


	16. 2nd Showdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erens POV  
> both teams hand over their prisoners and shit goes down.  
> Erwin earns 100+ hero points, Jean earns 100+ cool points, Mikasa earns 100+, Ninja points, Levi earns 100+ sweetheart points and Eren earns 100+ adorable clutz points  
> enjoy

Hanji stopped us and stepped out into the clearing by themself. From the trees I could see Levi do the same from the other side.

Damn I had been officially kidnapped for maybe fifteen minutes but I could have peed I was so relieved to see him. He looked really tense though. I guess he was really worried. Maybe I needed to walk out with a limp and pretend I was injured.

“Hey Jean,” I whispered, “Punch my face- give me a black eye or something.”

He shooked his head and hissed, “No man I’m not hitting you again.”

“Jeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaan.”

“I’m starting to wonder if you’re really into that shit. Does Levi give it you rough or something?”

I scoffed and turned my attention back to the field. No way was I answering out loud.

Hanji looked…really professional actually. They looked just as threatening as Levi. It was kind of cool.

I glanced at Mikasa who was shamelessly ogling Hanji. Hahahahahah oh my God Mikasa what even.

I elbowed Jean as I held back a fit of laughter, “Dude get a load of Mikasa.”

He looked over and quickly matched my expression, “Holy shit man…that is the most gay face I have ever seen her make.”

“Agreed.”

We stared at her again for but after a second she snapped and glared at us. She must have heard our thoughts or something. Mind reading was probably an Ackerman family thing, Krista just got lucky earlier.

And before you start thinking whaaaaaaaat? A family thing?? So Levi and Mikasa are family? Isn’t Mikasa your sister? Were you fucking your brother???

No. No I was not. They were cousins and Mikasa was my adoptive sister, dear Lord get your head out of the gutter.

Jean and I both turned and pretended nothing happened, but after another moment we were both sneaking a peek at her again.

“Man Hanji’s getting fucked tonight,” I predicted.

He punched my shoulder, “And you’re getting fucked right now.”

I growled and rammed my shoulder into his arm (since my hands were tied I couldn’t punch him). He was about to hit me back when Hanji waved over at us.

Jean cleared his throat and put on his business face as he escorted both Krista and I into view. Connie and Mikasa stepped up with us but stopped behind Hanji, making themselves look like body guards.

I had decided to go with the non-injured appearence, so don’t worry.

Levi hardly looked at me but I knew he was secretly focused in on me.

He snapped his fingers without looking back and our team emerged from the trees. Sasha brought Armin forward as Erwin, and Ymir stood behind them and Levi.

Inwardly I was very thankful that you couldn’t tell their face paint was actually blue berries. They all looked intense, I was impressed. Even I felt threatened and I was on their team. A quick glance around me proved that Hanji’s team looked very serious also.

Even Krista looked steeled up. My eyes widened as I realized I probably looked like a lost little puppy among scary big soldiers. And the fact I was restrained by a scarf didn’t help my case. Godammit nobody warned me.

Aaaaaand I was monologuing once again. I realized this when suddenly Jean was pulling me forward and Sasha did the same.

Wow this was so serious it was just a game of laser tag seriously guys.

When we finally met, Sasha and Jean nodded at each other then they released their respective prisoners.

I smiled at Armin as we crossed sides and vaguely wondered if I should have asked to be untied before being swapped. Eh it didn’t matter, I’d give the scarf back to Mikasa later.

I walked straight towards Levi, which was fine, because Krista walked straight for Ymir so I didn’t look like a gay baby.

His gaze noticeably softened as I got closer and I couldn’t help but grin at that. He was such a teddy bear jeez he was cute. I wanted to hug him and never let go.

I glanced over at Armin to see if they were having a similarly heartwarming moment, and good thing I did, because I looked over just in time to see Jean raise his gun.

Technically the trade was over- shooting was okay.

Levi dove towards me and that was the action that seemingly set everyone into action.

He tackled me to the ground as Jean shot. Both teams scrambled to get behind the safety of the trees, but at the same time they wanted nothing more than to have an all-out battle.

So it was split between the teams; there were those who ran for the trees and those who shot at whatever they could.

Levi would have stayed out on the field, but since he knew that I was temporarily disabled he focused on getting me away.

Before being dragged away I managed to see the coolest thing I will have probably ever seen in my whole life;

Erwin ran and jumped to cover us as we ran and Jean aimed his gun at Levi, but seeing that Erwin was aiming for Armin (who was running to the trees) he moved his position and in doing so, his aim.

They both shot at the same time.

They both missed their targets- but succeeded in shooting each other.

To add to that, Sasha rolled on the ground to dodge Hanji’s shot but in the time she spent dodging Hanji, Mikasa had gotten Krista and replaced Hanji. When Sasha got back up, Mikasa already had her aim set and her shot rang out.

Within maybe thirty seconds we had lost Erwin, Krista and Sasha. They opposing team had only lost Jean.

Even though we faced a great casualty, I couldn’t help but be shocked by how perfectly my team had fought.

That was flat out fucking cool and nobody can ever tell me otherwise.

It really made me want to win for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *blushes at horrible typos and runs away*


	17. Jean's Farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanjis POV  
> what happens right after the trade-off/showdown!  
> another 2 chapter update

After all of team Levi had run away, we started cheering. We had gotten out Erwin, Krista and Sasha!

We actually got Erwin out I cannot believe.

We lost Jean though…

He took a shot for Armin like a cheesy hero.

He looked happy though. He didn’t seem crushed or anything. Armin scolded him for doing it but I knew Jean would never regret it.

Mikasa turned and gave me a high five with a smile. She always seemed to have my back, whether or not I was aware of it.

Connie crashed between us and rambled on and on about how cool we looked in action. He had gone to hide in the trees so he got to watch it all happen.

We all formed a circle to bid Jean farewell. He handed his 3DMG to me and nodded, “At least Petra won’t be alone now. But I do hope you realize I’m going to be giving you guys obnoxious sound effect while I’m up there.

“Oh oh oh, spy on Levi and Eren and play some song about booties when they’re doing something cute,” I requested.

He laughed, “I don’t know, Erwin and Sasha may beat me to that.”

I gently pushed him away, “Well get going then little horse-shit! You gotta get there first!”

He went to give Armin a gay kiss on the cheek then waved and walked out of sight.

I sighed and turned back to my team. We all looked at one another with happy, yet anxious expressions.

It seemed like we were in line to win, but none of us wanted to jinx it.

“Whoa…guys…Team Levi only has Levi, Ymir and Eren left!” I exclaimed.

“That’s quite the advantage…”

“Unless Eren really is some special weapon.”

We all stood still and chewed on that thought for a while.

Honestly, I hoped he wasn’t. That would mean we’d have to make him a target and I didn’t want that.

Maybe that was what Levi meant. He knew I had a major soft spot for Eren so he hoped I wouldn’t go after him, at the very least. It was very plausible. And no, the idea didn’t make me consider targeting him.

“Armin, Mikasa- you’re closest to him, what do you think would be his winning thingy?”

They looked at each other and shrugged, “Not sure…his determination?”

“Maybe his anger?” Connie suggested.

I laughed at that, mainly because it was actually possible, “Just tell him something mean and send him on his way once he’s angry enough.”

“Maybe Levi plans on us simply not wanting to shoot Eren. Let’s face it, Mikasa and I are least likely to shoot him and Hanji melts whenever Eren is in the room.” That’s exactly what I thought Armin. Though I did momentarily forget that a majority of the team had a soft spot for him. Damn cutie…

I smiled and didn’t even bother denying it, “Aaaaaah yeah. He’s just so stupid and cute and perfect, God I adore him.”

Mikasa frowned, “He’s not stupid. He’s very smart.”

I nodded, “True. Clueless, dense and clumsy are better words.”

She nodded in approval of my new word choice and turned to Armin, “I think we need to just get Levi out. It’ll be much easier to get the other two out once he’s gone.”

“Question is, how?” Connie pointed out.

The idea of kidnapping Eren again to trick Levi crossed my mind, but no way was I doing that.

I bit on my bottom lip and looked up at the trees, “I guess…this time we’ll wait for him to make a move. For now let’s just get Connie set up in Jean’s gear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another reminder that my tumblr is ooberry.tumblr.com and I'll take any fanfic requests you have uvu


	18. Eren's Winning Thingy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> erens POV  
> the winning thingy is sort of revealed, though it wasnt a secret  
> the next chapter will be Jean's pov up in the observation platform!!  
> todays update consisted of two tiny chapter i sorry  
> also sorry for my incredibly stupid and numerous typos

Then it was time for their departure.

Krista hugged Ymir and gave her a mirror (a good idea actually, apparently she went back for her purse in order to get the pocket mirror).

Sasha ran out immediately in hopes to get to the food before Jean.

Erwin came to check on Levi and me before leaving.

“Erwin you idiot you weren’t supposed to get shot.”

“You’re welcome for saving you Levi.”

“You better hope we don’t lose for that mistake.”

“Relax Levi. Now they suspect we’ve lost all our pegs and think they’ll win, it’s the perfect time to use Eren here.”

I looked up from struggling with Mikasa’s scarf (dang horse-face really knew how to tie a knot) and tilted my head, “Huh?”

Erwin chuckled and patted my shoulder, “Make sure to untie him Levi. I’m it won’t help you if his arms stay tied.”

“I feel that Eren being tied up could be very beneficial to me honestly.”

My face reddened without permission and I gawked at him, “Levi!”

Erwin looked up in thought, “Hm that reminds me, I wonder what kind of sounds and music will be available to play in the observation platform. I’m looking forward to interrupting you and Eren in your sweet and or inappropriate moments.”

“Oh don’t you fucking dare Eyebrows,” Levi warned.

Erwin winked and left without a reply. The boyfriend sighed and walked around to help me.

He wrapped Mikasa’s scarf around my neck then gently took my hands and placed soft kisses on my wrists.

I felt my cheeks get hot and I tensed up but didn’t pull away, “I-I’m fine Levi, my wrists are fine.”

He met my eyes and continued kissed up my arm. “Can never be too careful,” he murmured.

“Hey Tweedle Gay and Tweedle Gayer, let’s get back to business,” Ymir called.

“Doesn’t that make you the gayest then?” I grinned.

“Don’t be cheeky Eren,” Levi scolded, yet his smirk told me he agreed with my comment.

Ymir put an arm around my shoulders, whacking my head as she did so, and looked at Levi, “So what next?”

His gaze fell on her arm for a moment then quickly came back to our faces, “Now Eren gets his time to shine.”

“What exactly do you mean by that Levi? You still haven’t explained it to me.”

“I’ll explain it now if you’ll shut your mouth.” He paused as if to make sure that I did in fact shut my mouth. “You’re just gonna lie. Go in there, tell them you’re upset because Ymir and I want to cheat so you need their help to talk to us, and we’ll take them while you’re leading them over.”

“That’s your genius plan midget?” Well somebody had a death threat, Ymir I’d run away if I were you.

“Yes it is. Out of their whole team, only Connie would consider shooting Eren- and not if he lies well enough. It wouldn’t work with you because, well, nobody likes you.” Buuuuuuuuuurn (I think).

She snorted then looked at me, “Are you a good liar?”

“I-I’m not sure…” I stuttered. Was I good liar? I looked to Levi, did he know? I mean sure I’d teased him and pulled pranks but was that lying?

She gave Levi a blank stare, “You’re expecting him to lie to all of them.” Okay true, my reply did make it seem like the odds were against me but come on.

“He had me believing he was straight for the first six months after we met.”

“Oh yeeaaaaah,” I laughed. Man that was hilarious, I could tell he was attracted in me so I decided to mess with him as well as bring attention from the fact I was attracted to him. I was 100% gay the whole time. He kinda scared me and I kinda wanted to know if he was REALLY interested in me, I don’t know I just decided to pretend to be straight. When he found out I was actually gay he was so angry he kissed me heheh.

“Yeah but you didn’t really know him then. Armin and Mikasa have known him their whole lives, don’t you think they could tell if he lied?”

“They’ll give him the benefit of doubt, they trust him with their whole hearts.”

She narrowed her eyes but gave in, “Okaaaay.” She shoved a gun in my arms and pushed me forward. “Well good luck then. Don’t get shot.”

Levi put a hand on my arm and looked up at me, “You’ll be fine. Lead them this way and tell them you don’t want to play if we’re going to cheat so you need help. You didn’t want it to come to this but if it’s the only way then it’ll have to do. When you get here separate from them and we’ll start picking them off. We’ll hide behind those trees…right over there. So make sure we’re out of sight, yet you can reach us.”

I listened intently and nodded, “Okay! I got this!”

As I turned to leave he tightened his grip on my arm and pulled me back, “Eren.”

I stumbled backwards into him and blinked, “Ah- wh…what?”

“Use the puppy eyes on Hanji.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> levi takes puppy eyes very seriously  
> on another note, I feel like i've referenced their history so much that I should write about when Levi and Eren first met and when Hanji did those expiriments... what do you guys think?


	19. Pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeans POV!
> 
> i apologize for the lack of update for a few days, im having hand problems...i might be developing carpal tunnel or something so I have to avoid using my hands ::::/

When I arrived at the observation platform Petra was looking out the window into the arena.

“Hope you haven’t been too lonely and I certainly hope you’re ready to annoy the shit out of everybody,” I announced.

She turned and gave me a bright smile, “Jean! That’s funny I thought Sasha would have beat you, she was running pretty-”

Sure enough, Sasha came running in. She shoved me to the ground, jumped over me and dove for the pizza box.

She jumped over the table, closing and grabbing the pizza box as she went, and crashed into the glass besides Petra.

Lucky for her, that window was made of that maxi-glass stuff.

“Was that really necessary?!” I growled as I stood up. Fucking little…Petra hadn’t even eaten any of the pizza yet and there was four boxes along with other food!! There was plenty for her to eat, pulling ninja crap was completely unnecessary.

She nodded vigorously as she inhaled a slice and Petra looked at me sympathetically.

I sighed and grabbed a piece of pizza from the safe boxes (I say that because Sasha hissed when I took a step toward her) then walked over to one of the tv monitors.

“Erwin and Krista just left the arena,” I warned. I was pretty sure Erwin would join me in my quest to annoy everybody. He seemed like that kind of guy.

Petra waved me over from another monitor, “Hey, Levi, Eren and Ymir are planning!”

I crossed the room to join her and Sasha surprisingly abandoned her box of pizza to do the same. Though she did bring two slices with her.

We listened intently and didn’t even react when Erwin and Krista joined us.

When Eren finally left to initiate the plan, I scoffed, “Bullshit!”

“You don’t think it’ll work?” Petra wondered.

“No, I KNOW it will, that’s why it’s BULLSHIT,” I shouted as I threw my pizza at the window.

Erwin and Krista laughed and Sasha gave me one of her two slices of pizza as if it would console me.

“Dammit Jaeger…”

“Hanji should’ve chosen better. If she had left Eren, Armin and Mikasa together they would’ve taken a shot for one another,” Erwin pointed out.

I grunted and munched on my Sasha-graced-pizza as I considered their plan. I was still team Hanji, so naturally I wanted them to hate Jaeger as much as I did so Levi’s plan would fail, but obviously they’d never hate him.

I could give them a warning though. I shuffled over to the sound system and chose the ‘alarm #2’ option.

A police siren went off in the arena as I returned to the monitor everyone was still gathered around.

All of team Hanji looked up in curiosity as Eren got closer and team Levi looked a bit annoyed- they knew it was either Petra or me helping our team out.

Hanji tilted their head up and laughed, “Aha! I guess Jean already got to interrupt the angry couple!”

I groaned and looked at the others to see if they got my message. Perhaps it would only be apparent after Eren arrives, I wondered as they all let out a relieved laugh.

Except Armin.

Ah, my precious boyfriend, I knew he would pull through.

He narrowed his eyes and looked at the surrounding trees suspiciously; he knew something was coming. He got my message aaaaah.

Eren came into the clearing them immediately threw down his gun and raised his arms, “I need help!”

They all looked at him in surprise and I kept an eye on the blond as I silently sang flirtatious songs to him in my mind.

For a brief moment his suspicion left him and he smiled in relief, but then he seemed to remember the warning and took a slight step away from his friend.

“Eren? Jean’s out you know, if you need help go to the observation platform. Or call him if you don’t need him to show you something.”

“I know, it’s not that…” his gaze fell on their guns and he flinched slightly, “Can you put those down for a moment?”

“No.” Damn Armin. Hanji looked at him confused for a second before turning back to Eren.

“How do we know you didn’t bring Levi and Ymir along?” They questioned.

He kept his hands up and sighed, “They’re not…but I understand. Can I put my hands down though? You can take my gun for extra measure.”

Connie stepped forward to grab his gun and Eren let his arms fall, “Ugh finally.”

“Really Eren? Mr.Tall-Tan- and-Handsome-and-Muscular can’t hold his arms up for a 30 second verbal exchange?” Hanji teased.

He flashed a blinding eager grin and shook his head, “Anyway, I…I really don’t…” His expression became grave and he cleared his throat, “I really don’t want to do this. Levi and Ymir want to cheat, and they’re not listening to me so I’m hoping tattling will stop them and we can just keep going…I’m sorry but cheating just kills the fun y’know…”

He looked absolutely pitiful and distraught.

Hanji, though a bit reluctant I noticed, fell for it.

“Whaaaaaaat? What are they planning on doing?” They asked as they patted his shoulder.

Erwin tensed beside me and I smirked- Levi hadn’t gone over that with Eren.

Yet, Jaeger never ceases to amaze. He faltered for only a moment. “He…he just…he discussed a few things, but I think mainly he’s planning on going out our exit, walking around to yours and doing a surprise attack from behind.”

Erwin relaxed and my smirk disappeared. Even if they didn’t accept that reason, Eren had cleverly inserted that there were more options so he would have room to make a more dramatic lie if needed.

Armin frowned, “That seems kind of lackluster for Levi.”

Eren shrugged passively, “I guess that’s what he thought so you wouldn’t suspect it?” Smart cover. Because Eren was too stupid to ever understand Levi’s thoughts.

“What if,” Connie spoke up, “You led us over and we get him out? I mean he’s stubborn, sorry, he’s not going to give in.” Then he began stumbling over his own words after seemingly realizing his idea was slightly ridiculous.

Eren interrupted him, “No it’s fine, I just…rrr…I don’t know.” He looked down miserably.

Knowing what was coming next I dashed towards the sound board to hit the alarm button again, but there was Krista. Sitting on the sound board. Sitting up straight with her legs crossed looking all prim and proper. Managing to sit at the top and not press any buttons as she did so because she was a tiny little fucker.

Erwin grabbed on my arm to hold me back as if I was considering flinging Krista onto the floor (I wasn’t…I was just gonna give her a little push…)

I sighed and prepared myself to watch the disaster about to take place.

Jaeger had it in the bag.

Little tears sprang into the corners of his eyes and he looked down at the ground then quietly mumbled, “Sorry…”

Their sensible judgments (including Connie’s), if they had any, flew out the window in an instant.

“Awwwww Eren, honey, don’t cry!! Levi’s just being a big booty!” Hanji dropped their gun to hug him.

Krista squealed and pressed a button on the board then a song about ‘booties’ played in the arena.

Hanji let out a cheer as the others laughed and Eren smiled softly.

Armin gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his back as Mikasa very obviously was contemplating how to murder Levi.

“Eren it’s okay, we’ll just go talk to him and fix it. He probably just doesn’t think it’s cheating?”

Apparently Eren didn’t take well to Connie’s comforting.

Large tears began to slowly run down his cheeks and I knew my team was doomed. Even Armin with his suspicion couldn’t resist Jaeger tears.

Hell, even I couldn’t resist it. I was beginning to feel distraught with the need to hold him and I HATED him.

Mikasa brushed passed him and walked into the distance while coldly ordering, “Let’s go.”

Hanji grabbed his gun, as well as their own, and held both as they held his hand and pulled him to follow his sister. “It’ll be okay Eren, come on!”

I could practically SMELL the wicked grin on Erwin’s face. Or maybe it was the pizza.

I grumbled and threw the crust at the window to join my other pizza.

My team was losing because Eren fake cried.


	20. Announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys ive decided to put this piece on hiatus. its lacking a lot and i feel like its honestly quite forced.   
> i think ill set my goal to come back to this during Christmas break, but ill update on that when the time comes.  
> i might rewrite this in that time and hopefully the ending will be better but i will for sure still be writing fanfics, just not this one.  
> i think it may just be really long and I have other ideas that desperately want to be tended to so i'm just taking a break.  
> however, I do promise this will be finished. this is NOT an abandoned piece. unless I die soon, but let's pretend that's not a possibility.
> 
> so i'll be writing some short fanfics for a while! keep an eye out for them

it requires words here but im just trying to get a notification out i feel like there was a better way to do this oh well


	21. We Were Played

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- AO3 formatting doesnt like me so ignore the awkward formatting. or maybe im just self conscious and you really don't even notice. or maybe this whole time you've been thinking 'whats up with their weird formatting'. ignore me.  
> 2- i know what you're thinking. 'whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? an update? on finals week?? surely this person is hardcore and is a force not to be reckoned with since they're updating on finals week!!' very true.  
> this will finally be over soon! should be finished within a week! (dont hold my word for that).   
> quite possibly done this weekend because I have some christmas fanfics to do!
> 
> oh and i have a couple new fanfic ideas and i wanted an opinion of which one you'd like to read more- info will be at the bottom. i'd prefer you'd send an answer to my tumblr (ooberry.tumblr.com) but commenting here is fine too.
> 
> this tiny update is like a teaser ok

As we got closer to his base, Eren got really nervous.

I gave his hand a squeeze and smiled at him.

Poor baby…he had confessed to me that he was worried Levi would get mad at him for the whole situation, and knowing Levi, it was a liable fear- if he wasn’t Eren.

Levi adored Eren (to a sensible extent unlike me) and wouldn’t get mad at him. Maybe like fake mad, like he does all the time. Or just annoyance- but not seriously mad at Eren.

Levi would rather lick the floor than be angry at Eren and risk him crying. And by floor I mean the averagely dirty floor. And you know how he hates dirt. It’s like the repenting between an electron and a proton.

Eren normally wasn’t so fearful- he was careless, rash and brave, but when it came to Levi he was easily rendered submissive (pfft).

He looked back at the group following then at me as he nervously chewed on his lip, “Should I go ahead to find them maybe?”

I was about to send him on his way when Armin interrupted again. I was beginning to suspect he knew something I didn’t, because he was clearly against Eren’s story.

“No. Just stay with us and we’ll find them.”

Eren fidgeted with his pocket and nodded. He probably just wanted to find Levi first so he could warn him and we wouldn’t get shot. Or so he could get away and shoot us, but hopefully that wasn’t the goal.

Still plausible, but he looked pretty nervous.

When we reached his base Levi and Ymir weren’t there.

“Did they go without Eren?” I wondered.

We all looked around, hoping they’d pop up from some trees, but that didn’t happen.

                “Where’s Connie?” Mikasa pointed out.

                Armin’s eyes widened and suddenly his chest plate lit up like a Christmas tree.

                Mikasa immediately ran towards me and stood with her back to mine. Abandoning our attentions on Eren, we raised our guns and nervously surveyed the area. Armin waved at us miserably then ran away, probably hoping to get to the observation platform in time to see that we’d make it.

                I glanced at Eren, hoping to see he would be shocked and we would know he was innocent-

                But he was nowhere to be seen.

                We had been played.

                So easily played.

                “Hanji,” Mikasa whispered, “We’ve gotta get away from here. If we can get into the trees we’ll have an advantage and we can head towards the third base. You need to stay behind me though. You have a better chance at winning against them than I do, so you need to stay in for our team.”

                I nodded and kept my eyes strained on the big-ass trees in front of us, “Okay…which direction should we go?”

                She suddenly lurched backwards and pushed me away, “Go!!”

                I followed her commands and shot up into the trees in front of me, while taking a teeny tiny glance at her to make sure she was there.

                That wasn’t the case though. I discovered Ymir marching towards Mikasa as her equipment flashed red under her scarf.

                I swore under my breath and fled. It was a big set up- I was really going to have to be fast to escape.

                I stopped abruptly and decided to take a sharp turn. They may have been around any corner just waiting for me so I couldn’t keep in one direction.

                Ahead of me I spotted a flash of brown hair. Eren came into the clearing and quickly looked through the trees, which made me freeze and try my best to hide.

                I covered my mouth with my hands and took small shallow breaths as I stared him down. Only a second more and he’d move along to continue searching…

                I was fairly well hidden so I had faith in me escaping him before it was too late.

                He looked around slowly and surprisingly his eyes met mine.

                When he was checking the area his demeanor seemed predatory, but when he finally saw me his eyes softened and he gave me a desperate look. He whispered something, but even from a distance and even though it was German, I knew what it was. _“Tut mir leid_ ”.

                _“Sorry”._

                Then a red light flashed under me.

                Eren didn’t even have a gun with him.

                I slowly turned around and looked at the ground behind me.

                Raviolli smirked and lowered his gun.

                He said nothing and instead bowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay those ideas-  
> here's two ideas(dont copy these i will hunt you down and shove copyright on you), i'll give you the run down;  
> 1- modern setting, the gang has been reincarnated into several lives since the titan era but never once have they had their original names, and looked like their original selves or even been together. normally they may see a few others, maybe several if they're lucky, but that's hard since they never know who's who...until now. Suddenly the gang finds they look the same, have the same names, and have all found each other- except for the titan shifters...where are they and what could it mean for all of them to suddenly group together like this?  
> 2- modern setting, there's a small well known psychic group that's very successful. everyone is blown away by their abilities but little do they know it's all a scam planned by Erwin Smith himself. dang eyebrow man needs to be entertained every once in a while. It is all a scam, until several new people come in requesting a job, and against all odds- they get in. suddenly they find they have a group of people with very unique abilities that play into scamming people quite nicely, but can be used other ways...ghost hunting. yes, oh yes.  
> (some examples of their different abilites; all Titan Shifters are mediums, Sasha has ESP, Mikasa is skilled in summoning, Armin specializes in ghost research while Hanji specializes in psychic research, Jean is HSP and can communicate with animals, and nobody is sure what Erwin's powers are...but those are just some! everyone has an interesting ability)
> 
> if either sounds interesting to you send a vote for which one you like more to my tumblr (ooberry.tumblr.com) please! you can comment it but i would just prefer to keep these comments about the current fanfiction- not the future ones.  
> i guess if you really want to vote for me to work on BOTH at the same time (since I have proved I am a force not to be reckoned with by updating on finals week) that's ok too.
> 
> im dumb ill shut up now


	22. They Never Decide If They Got a Prize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go! the next chapter is the last one!!  
> I don't know what happened in this chapter don't ask, i just let whatever came to mind happen.
> 
> also, forewarning, there's a slight joking about cancer in this chapter. nothing bad or making fun of it, but i feel like i should warn just in case some may find it triggering.

As soon as they were shot, I yelled and ran towards the tree they were on.

                “HANJIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!”

                They looked down at me then their glum expression quickly became confused and concerned.

                They hopped down and ran towards me, “Eren?! Why are you crying? You won!”

                I shamelessly ran into their arms- and don’t get used to it Hanji, that’s the only time I’ll openly desire your strangling hugs- and hugged them tightly. “I’m so sorry I didn’t want to do it!! He made me do it, don’t hate me!”

                Ymir strolled into view and high-fived Levi before he came over to us. He smiled, “Way to throw me under the bus Eren.”

                Hanji laughed and pulled him into our hug.

                He didn’t resist.

                Loud music blared in the arena and it took me a second to recognize that it was High School Musical “We’re All in This Together”.

                Erwin suddenly came swooping in and joined the hug, lifting all three of us in the process. Armin and Jean followed closely behind him and both tugged me away from the hug.

                “You dick faaaaaaaace!” Jean whined.

                “I can’t believe I knew what you were up to and you still got away with it!” Armin screeched gleefully.

                I laughed at both of them and spotted the group approaching.

                Mikasa came jogging to Hanji and hugged them. They fell into their own little conversation which was quickly interrupted by Jean who went over to scold them for falling for my tears.

                Krista ran up to Ymir with her cute little smile and jumped into her arms.

                Connie and Sasha were walking towards the group with Petra and chatting happily.

                Levi stood on his toes to ruffle my hair and chuckled, “Thanks. Good job.”

                “We won!”

                “Because you’ve got a pretty face.”

                “I made Hanji cry.”

                “Oh wow you’re going to hell.”

                “I didn’t mean tooooooooooo!”

                “What’d you do to them?” he wondered.

                I bit my lip and looked away, “They were trying to kidnap me and I struggled too much. We were high in the air and I caused them to drop me and they thought I was gonna die or something.”

                He stared at me blankly as if I was an idiot who fell out of a tree twice in one day. “You’re incredible you know. The first thing I say when we get in here is to not climb trees because you’ll fall and yet you manage to fall twice.”

                “Hey one of the times I didn’t even climb the tree,” I defended.

                “That doesn’t help your case, Eren.”

                “Is there a prize for us winners?” Erwin spoke up.

                We all tore our attention away from our separate conversations and looked at each other. Was there a prize? What would it even be??

                Jean narrowed his eyes at Erwin- we all knew he was incredibly manipulative, but most of the time you didn’t know when you were being manipulated so his suspicion was well warranted- “What would you expect as a prize?”

                Erwin narrowed his eyes back at Jean as if to mock him and frowned, “Anything to reward Levi’s superior leadership.”

                Levi joined the narrowing eyes party, “Are you making fun of me, Eyebrows?”

                Erwin faked shock and gasped, “Are _you_ making fun of my eyebrows?”

                Levi batted his eyelashes innocently, “Why would I ever make fun of your _superior_ eyebrows?”

                The room became deafeningly silent. Minus the guns I imagined being shot.

                After a minute of them intensely staring at each other, Erwin decided to ignore Levi’s saltiness and turn back to Jean. “Perhaps some heel inserts are a good prize for him.”

                Everyone took a sharp breath in and a step back. This was getting nasty. I was prepared to run away, I didn’t want in the middle of that.

                Levi stood still in place and replied without missing a beat, “And tweezers for you.”

                Behind the old west show down about to happen (and Erwin’s bowtie helped add to that analogy), we all nervously glanced at one another with the same question in mind- _to run or not to run?_

                “At least my eyebrows add power to my appearance.”

                You see his words and demeanor were incredibly threatening yet I saw amusement in his eyes.

                Levi…not so much. Just pure anger.

                “Your appearance reads that you need to take a shit.”

                “Your appearance reads that you are incapable of taking a shit.”

                Sasha, Connie, Ymir, Krista, Jean and Armin all slowly started walking backwards. Hanji, Petra and I remained in the sidelines as we were closer to the two about to ~~die~~ argue- Mikasa stayed back presumably because Hanji and I stayed. We were conflicted as to if we should intervene or let them battle it out…intervening could end very badly…

                “I get my power from seeming like I am constipated. It scares people away, whereas your ‘powerful’ appearance makes even children seem welcome.”

                “Yes, you do scare people away. You even scare precious little Eren.”

                Aw hell no.

                All eyes turned to me as the grim reaper crept into my view. Oh God death by laser tag victory- wait why were they even arguing they were on the same team THEY BOTH WON. THEIR COMEBACKS WEREN’T EVEN COOL (well the heel inserts part was pretty funny but nobody tell Levi I said that).

                There was the sound of someone’s running footsteps then suddenly everyone scattered as I was tossed over a shoulder.

                “ _RUN!_ ”

                After bouncing around on someone’s shoulder for a while, we reached the safety of the lobby.

                My savior (ironically Jean) kept me over his shoulder (to save time from putting me down and helping me stand I guess? Did he think I as gonna run? Did he forget I was there? The world will never know) and they all quickly gathered in a tight circle as they tried to catch their breath.

                “Okay, split up; Armin and I will hide in the main office, and we’ll take Eren since he came with Levi.  Mikasa and Hanji, you two hide out back. Ymir and Krista, you two go hide in the ladies restroom. Sasha, Connie and Petra, you guys go up to the observation platform. Keep your phones on an-”

                “ _Oi. Didn’t I tell you to keep your_ hooves _off of my boyfriend?_ ”

                Everyone except Jean froze. He dove into action and threw me into Mikasa’s arms (seriously this dude only thought when lives were in danger), “Quick take Eren, I’ll stay back and give you a fighting chance-!!”

                Erwin emerged from the arena effortlessly carrying all the cleaning supplies and returned it to the supply closet calmly. Levi came forward and whacked Jean, “Would you cut it out?!”

                Everyone assumed that was the move to begin the battle and split. Now, I admit, I myself was beginning to feel a little silly for taking such drastic measures to get away from Erwin and Levi teasing each other. But then I caught Levi’s deathly glare and everything seemed sensible again.

                “Mikasa, put him down!” Levi called.

                Mikasa paid no mind to him and continued to make her way to the door.

                “Eren has cancer but he didn’t want to tell you because he was worried you’d be scared for him!”

                Mikasa and Hanji suddenly came to a jerking halt right as they reached the door.

                Sasha gracefully fell on Connie who tripped over Petra’s foot who froze just like Mikasa and Hanji.

                Armin and Jean emerged from the office and stared as Ymir and Krista also reopened the bathroom door and came to stare.

                I removed myself from Mikasa’s arms, brushed the invisible dirt on my clothes off and stood still awkwardly as everyone stared. Of course I didn’t have cancer- it was Levi’s brilliant tactic to get Mikasa to stop before getting out of reach. Well congrats Levi, it worked.

                He snorted and rolled his eyes then reached a hand out, gesturing me to come over to him. Grateful to have an excuse to do something besides look at everyone awkwardly, I ran towards him quickly.

                Erwin crossed the room to join us and put a comforting hand on my shoulder, “I’m so sorry Eren.” His mighty eyebrows were furrowed in concern, but I knew well that he was just going along with Levi.

                I brushed his hand off, “Oh shut up, you guys are scaring them! I don’t have cancer!! Levi just said that to get you all to stop!”

                Everyone sighed in relief and the previous tension began to melt away.

                I shook my head and look down at Levi. That little stinker was smirking to himself.

                “I hope you’re proud of yourself. You gave everyone a heart attack, including myself.”

                He glanced up at me and smiled, “I don’t care. I won.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again for reading guys! i love you all and this has been fun to write!!
> 
> What do you think they should have gotten as a prize, though?


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end has arrived. finally. this turned out to be so much longer than expected.

I was little grumpy in the car.

I was in the mood to cuddle and sitting in a car interfered with that.

“Oi, if you shut up I’ll get you something at Starbucks or whatever.”

I groaned and wiggled in my seat, “It’s not even open right now! Nothing is!”

He frowned slightly, “Oh. Right.”

We had been in that laser tag place for hours. It was midnight and we were just heading home.

I continued to flail in my seat until eventually I had slid down so far I was sitting on the floor with my head lying on the seat.

“Seriously Eren.”

“Shut up,” I mumbled against the admittedly soft cushioning, “I’m suffering here, have some compassion.”

“Hey, I’m a victim of cuddle deficiency too, but you don’t see me rolling about the car crying.”

“You’re driving; you can’t.”

He grunted then suddenly the car stopped and he slid down his own seat to copy my position. I yelped and sat up, but bumped my head on the glove department. “Shit,” I muttered.

He laughed and reached over to rub my head, “You idiot. Be careful.”

“You stopped the fucking car?!”

“I parked it you idiot, calm down.”

“In the middle of a highway?”

“No, you fuckwit, we’re home!!”

I unbuckled my seat belt so I could sit up properly and looked out the window. Sure enough, we were in the parking lot in front of his apartment.

I glared at him as he also got up, “You jerk. You knew I’d freak out and hit my head.”

He turned the car off and smirked, “I knew you’d freak out. I didn’t know you’d be dumb enough to give yourself a concussion.”

“I bet you could have predicted it.”

He shrugged, “Quite possibly.”

As soon as we got out I ran around and jumped on him. He grunted at the sudden addition of weight, but slid his hands down to support me anyway.

I hid my face in the crook of his neck and gave him gentle kisses as he carried me away. Carrying me through an apartment complex counted as cuddling for the effort.

“At least we’ll be alone for a little bit. It’s rare for everyone to be out all at once when you’re here,” He murmured.

Hm true. Normally at the least Hanji stuck around to poke at me. Some of the others went out to dinner after the game, some went home. Hanji went home with Mikasa and in turn I went home with Levi. Remembering what happened when that was decided, I giggled quietly.

See, I wanted payback at Mikasa. After we came to the decision that we were splitting up for the night I pulled out a condom and handed it to Mikasa in front of everyone.

“ _You two will be needing this_ ,” I said.

But she and Hanji weren’t given an opportunity to react- Levi snatched it from me and promptly walked away saying, “ _They don’t need it Eren, we do you idiot_.”

Everyone burst out laughing except for me. I just stood there with a ridiculously red face and stared at the floor in front of me.

I thought Levi was on my side, but apparently not.

Anyway, at first it didn’t seem funny to me, but as I sat there thinking about it, it was actually quite hilarious! Levi was so funny.

I tightened my arms around his neck and squeezed my legs a little to help hold myself up as he opened the door.

He put me down on the couch then crossed his arms and stared down at me, “So what do you want to do?”

I flopped onto my side and pulled my legs up to my chest, “I dunno. Sleep?”

He sighed and nudged my head, “Tch. You’ve been sleeping all day, why do you need more sleep?”

He paused then laid the back of his hand against my forehead, “You sure you aren’t sick…?”

I grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the couch with me, “I swear I’m fine. Just didn’t get enough sleep is all.”

He pulled himself up so he was looking down at me and raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, and about that- you’re a total and complete idiot. I was worried something happened.” He pinched my nose then refused to let go when I swatted at him. “That was fucking heartless Eren, you scared me shitless then I discovered you wrapped up in a blanket and I thought ‘he must have injured himself and couldn’t get up!’ Was that the case? No!”

I cupped his face in my hands and pulled him down for a small, apologetic kiss, “Sorry!!”

He accepted it, then pulled away to glare at me, “You know what was even worse? That Godamn stunt you pulled over the stupid hostage phone call, what the hell were you even thinking??”

I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep him from getting away, just in case he wanted to pace and rant about me, “I’m sorry! I’m so soooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyy!”

He leaned down to give me a harsh kiss. He gently bit my lip and growled, “I don’t think you are.”

I hiccupped softly, silently cursing its horrible timing, then pouted, “Really Levi. He made me.”

He rolled his eyes as he gently rubbed circles into my hip bones after sneaking his hand under my shirt (when did he even do that), “What did he possibly do?”

I tapped my thumb against the back of his neck as if to let him know which hand I meant, even though I knew he’d know, “He bit my hand.”

His eyes softened and he frowned, “How did he know about that?”

I hiccupped again then shrugged, “I’m not sure. Armin must have told him beforehand.”

He hummed in response and moved his hands higher towards my chest, “That’s no good…”

“I guess I have been awfully mean today,” I mused.

He leaned closer so he was breathing on my face and smirked, “Care to make up for that now?”

I didn’t know what to say so I just hiccupped. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do.

He immediately sat up and stared at me blankly, “You’re going to have to stop that Eren.”

I propped myself up on my elbows and tilted my head to the side, confused by this sudden absence, “Stop - _hic_ \- what?”

He accusingly pointed a finger at me and raised his eyebrows, “That.”

“I can’t just stop my hiccups.”

“Fine then.”

He stood up and wordlessly walked away, up the stairs, and then I heard his bedroom door close.

That little…ugh.

Since the room was empty and silent my hiccups seemed to echo. A rather creepy illusion that gave me very little comfort or entertainment.

“SHORTY!” I yelled. I just wanted to push his buttons so he’d come down. I knew he was waiting for me to give in and come upstairs but I refused, I was going to make him come down. Even if he was coming down to kill me.

“HOW’S THE WEATHER DOWN THERE LEVI??” Low blow, I know, but I was desperate.

“I’ll have you know I’m currently at a higher position than you,” he called back through the door calmly.

I hiccupped again and sat up glumly, “Fuck you!”

“Oh I’d love that, but you have to stop hiccupping first- it’s more annoying than Hanji.”

“Y’know, I bet Hanji and Mikasa would let me join them…” I predicted loudly.

There was a pause, a click and then he was stomping down the stairs.

I smirked and sat back into the couch. Sure he may have been coming down to hit me, but all that mattered was that I got him to come down.

He may have won laser tag, but who was the real winner?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize if you expected smut. heheh.  
> after this i think i'll upload a small Christmas sequel to a JeanxEren fanfic and then i'll get working on one of those ideas i described for approval in the last chapter.  
> hopefullllllly it'll be good. I hope my writing is improving that's why i'm writing fanfictions.  
> i feel like i sort of fell out of this fanfic and its no good. i hope not. i dont even know. oh well.
> 
> anyhoodle thank you so much for keeping up with this darn thing. it's been forever. through their stupidity and mine you have continued to read, and hopefully, enjoy it.  
> thank you bunches!! I'll hopefully see you guys in future works!


End file.
